stories my mother never told me

Noisy Words @ Traverse Theatre

2011-12-18T18:38:00.002Z

In the last few weeks, I also had the joy and frankly, nervous exhaustion (in a good way) as 1 of the 5 writers involved in the experimental and rather wondrous Noisy Words, a weekend of writing and composing for the stage at the Traverse Theatre in Edinburgh. We met up on the Saturday morning deep in the bowels of the Traverse, with strict instructions not to bring any ideas, then we met actors, musicians from the Red Note Ensemble and composers. After 90 minutes of inventing something out of the air that might suit a short play, each of the writers was randomly matched with a composer, and the game was ON. Basically over the next 36 hours we experimented, edited, rehearsed, and eventually came up with 5 short plays (1 for each 'couple') complete with specially composed music. Then rather too quickly (eek), we were all in our seats in the Traverse watching the paying audience file in. I silently cheered after we had 3 audience members in the door, but by the time the show began, we were near to a full house (isn't it great to see that people still want to see experimental new writing!).

It was fantastic to see the other plays performed and mine alongside. I'd started writing about a mischief-maker, but in the end my idea expanded into an experimental piece about the Devil turning up in a suburban house, with the narrative 'driven' by a beautiful and rather haunting piece of music, my composer partner Dan came up with. It seemed to go down well, and the lady next to me (who I didn't know) prodded me in the arm afterwards and said it was her favourite - I don't care if she was lying. One of the really fantastic things about the event was the inevitability of it. Many things film-wise or art-wise can bring with them a raft of disappointments - you have to get used to working on things that never get made or get made and not edited, or get made and edited and not released. With Noisy Words, we were all aware that whatever we produced, it was going to be performed in front of a paying audience. I loved the experience - especially the chance to play around with language, and work live with a composer, musicians, director, dramaturg and actors. If Noisy Words comes up again, I can thoroughly recommend it.

Merry Christmas blog-readers. I wish you tinsel and inspiration.

EIFF Network

2011-12-18T18:37:00.000Z

And it's official (finally!). Really excited to hear earlier in December that a project I'm screenwriting is 1 of the 9 UK features chosen to be developed on the development and mentoring programme, NETWORK (run by EIFF and Script Editor Kate Leys, and supported by the Skillset Film Skills Fund and Creative Scotland). More info here. and the official press release is here. Rather fabulously, the feature's producer Lili is also on, so our contemporary horror comedy is raring to go (as are we).

This programme runs from November up to the Edinburgh International Film Festival 2012, basically the same timescale as the other feature scheme I'm on, previously mentioned here, which is going to be something of a challenge but a very positive one. I see juggling ahead.

Fire. I want you to burn.

2011-11-13T14:12:00.004Z

Last weekend saw my first residency at the previously mentioned Playwrights Studio Screenwriting Residency, with a glorious couple of jam-packed days high on a hill in a hotel in the west of Scotland. I met the other 8 participants, and we bonded happily over writerly chat, beer and enjoyed some fireworks provided by a party of (allegedly) shiny-suited 'apprentices' who were having a celebratory conference.

It's the first time I've been on an actual residency, so a few nerves, but they were thankfully groundless. On the downside I did get lost in Bonnybridge, but managed to navigate my way out by using that old 'which side of the river am I on' trick since my new fancy phone wouldn't allow me to use its map app. Over the course of the weekend, we had some group sessions, and met our individual mentors from the Binger FilmLab, who then spent time getting to the heart of each of our features - very perceptive, helpful, and seriously professional - I've come away with new goals, a path to follow regarding what I'm excising and changing, and what needs strengthening and consolidating in my script. But probably the most fundamentally important thing that I've taken from those couple of days, was the need to forget the restraints of writing a 'script' and to embrace the glorious adventure of writing a great story. Right now we're not developing projects for individual companies with restraints and restrictions - right now we're developing something (hopefully) wondrous that needs to fly off the page. Arty, ambitious words? Maybe, but I'll take the criticism. When I'm struggling to find time in between earning and all the other things that life chucks at you, I'm going to try and make sure that what I'm getting on to the page is inspired and as magic as I can make it. I have deadlines to hit for the next draft, and our next big meetup is due for February/March.

When I got back I found a family member had been taken into hospital, and 2 days after that, I had my first general anaesthetic for a small op. Not the most fun time, but it's given me new respect for the staff of the local hospital. Such professionalism (that word again). They even buy their own tea for the ward because the official stuff isn't 'strong enough'.

And then some more good news on a development scheme - more on this later when it has been announced officially. I have a meeting on Wednesday to start that ball rolling - exciting. And later in November I'll be working with composers and actors, over a weekend to stage a live performance play in a significant Edinburgh theatre - also exciting, if a little nerve-wracking!

Stay classy.

Playwrights Studio Scotland Screenwriting Residency

2011-10-30T19:25:00.000Z

Lovely to get the good news that I've been awarded a Screenwriting Residency with Playwright Studio Scotland/Creative Scotland/Binger FilmLab to work alongside industry mentors over a series of residential workshops to develop my feature screenplay Masterbaker. The residency runs from November through to the 2012 Edinburgh International Film Festival - cannot wait!

Since the summer

2011-10-09T18:17:00.002+01:00

Ah September you've been a weird one. On the plus side, I saw Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and thoroughly enjoyed its 70s Gary Oldman goodness. It was wonderfully evocative of the period, and Oldman certainly gives a powerhouse minimalist performance, but I do have issues about the hurried ending, and too-easy tie-up of some of the story strands BUT it was an involving, smart and pretty much satisfying experience. In contrast I also saw Drive starring Ryan Gosling. Very different. VERY violent, but again, woo, worth the trip. Ryan Gosling was a bit of a revelation for me in the title role. He plays a sort-of child man in some respects, but this is counterbalanced by his obvious experience of extreme bone-crunching violence, and his ease in performing it on those he deems worthy of it. It has an odd quirky. stylised 80's feel to it that works perfectly for the film, and the sweeping night-time drive through neon-lit city streets evoked Bladerunner memories in me. The soundtrack is terrific, and I'm still thinking about whether Gosling's character was, became or once was a 'Real Human Being' as the song proposed.

And so to work things, I've been writing a treatment for a short set in urban London that was requested by a new London director; redrafted my graduation feature, Masterbaker (more on that later); sent a few projects into production schemes; and have redrafted my app-isodes for Persona, the smart-phone drama which has just been relaunched. Got a few more things in the pipeline, but they're all dependent on finance, except for a very dark idea which I am going to outline in October regardless! Gotta keep the fun factor - and though dark, this one already appeals to my autumnal mind.

Then October crept in, all sudden gusts and scattering leaves. And some good news - I'm currently longlisted with a feature in the Playwrights Studio Scotland Screenwriting Residencies scheme - early days but fingers crossed. Always nice to get a bit of approval on a project, particularly one that's at a relatively early stage - and this scheme sounds like a great opportunity to develop a feature with excellent industry support - I've put in my full draft now, along with supporting material so it's out of my hands - but good luck to whoever gets on the shortlist. Which brings me to the subject of schemes, and applying for things. I am getting pickier about what schemes I apply to - I imagine this will also extend to the festivals I submit to with finished projects. I get more rejections than successes - I would bet most writers have this ratio, unless they're either incredibly lucky, or perhaps don't apply to many. There's not much point in listing the rejections - you suck up whatever feedback (if any) you get and move on - but it is true that the more you get, the easier they become. Oh don't get me wrong - some still feel like a kick in the gut, and leave you winded and hurt for a few hours or even days - it's inevitable, but in general, it does get easier. Another thing that gets easier with time, is the acceptance that their opinions are just that. Maybe they've had their fill of comedies, had too many horrors, or don't like your style. Maybe they don't like your writing. Maybe they've seen a blood-spattered, alien-licking, religious version of Calamity Jane just TOO many times before. Maybe your project isn't very good. Maybe your script was one of the best they've read but you don't quite have the experience they're looking for. Maybe you were 11th on their list of 10 top scripts. You'll never know. I'll never know. So why worry?

One thing I do know, I've fallen back in love with cinema. Not films - I'll always be in love with films - I mean, with going to the cinema, the building that screens stories on a screen the size of a house. And I go when it's quiet. And it's just me and some random oddities (like me), and we're generally pretty respectful and don't eat hotdogs and crisps during the screening, or get all rowdy or check our phones. And we sit through the trailers and then slink into our seats and get really, truly involved with all those giant faces and tiny stories and meaningful glances. I love the convenience of DVDs, but sometimes you just can't beat the cinema screen for nestling you into the dark, and filling up your world for 2 hours. I'm planning weeks ahead now for hoped-for cinematic glories still to be released. See you in the aisle.

The Kid In The Front Row Film Questionnaire

2011-09-12T21:33:00.001+01:00

Fascinating questionnaire from Kid In The Front Row:

1. What film has been sitting on your shelf for six months waiting to be watched? La Vie En Rose

2. What is the one film you know word for word? There are 2 - Black Narcissus and Some Like It Hot

3. What screen character breaks your heart? Winston Smith in 1984 - I love Orwell but the hopelessness is so bleak is breaks my heart every time.

4. If you could bring an actor back from the dead, and had to pair them on screen with a current actor (who is no older than 40), what would your combo be? Gregory Peck with Audrey Tatou, ooh or James Dean with Saoirse Ronan.

5. How often do you check your phone in the cinema? Never - although I check it about 3 times to make sure it's NOT on.

6. What film do you love which no-one else quite seems to 'get'? Black Narcissus - most get sidetracked or put off by the 'nun thing'.

7. What is your favourite Al Pacino film? Scarface

8. Why do they always manage to make us go one size bigger with the popcorn? They don't, well least not with me - popcorn distracts but I don't mind you eating it as long as you're not too noisy

9. Share one memory from a cinema visit long ago. I saw all the Herbie films as a little kid in red velvet seats in a rural cinema in the East of Scotland. It had a curving marble staircase, and at the time was the most glamorous place I'd ever been. They served square yellow blocks of creamy ice-cream at the interval - you had to manually jam them into a cone. They knocked the cinema down before I was a teen, and built flats on it.

10. Have you ever used a line from a movie, in your life, without anyone knowing you stole it? Give details. I don't think I ever got away with it but I tried the line from Now, Voyager, "don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars". It was meant to be cheesy.

Flung 9/11

2011-09-10T14:32:00.004+01:00

I usually post chirpy things, but now and again a subject makes me so angry I find myself typing and typing until something emerges that feels important to me. You might not agree, but be warned, this isn’t chirpy.

Millions of us have seen the photos of the so-called ‘jumpers’ (I hate the casualness of the term) from the burning buildings on 9/11 - those poor souls who died, falling hundreds of floors to the ground. You can’t avoid seeing the images - the still horror - but I’m not writing this to tell you that - most of you know, saw or subsequently learnt about the terrible nature of those events. No, I’m writing because I couldn’t not. Because I read an article this morning in The Mail and it made my blood boil, “The 9/11 victims America wants to forget: The 200 jumpers who flung themselves from the Twin Towers who have been 'airbrushed from history'”.

It details how some people consider those who jumped/fell to their deaths, to have died a shameful death. The thing is, I could normally put it down to media-stir - believing that no real right-thinking people could think such things. But they do. I’ve seen it in other articles and on documentaries and programmes. The belief that those who died and were classed as ‘jumpers’ were somehow letting the side down, engaging in a shameful way to end their lives. The article continues, “And in this country of intense religious fervour, many believe that to be a ‘jumper’ was to choose suicide rather than accept the fate of God — and suicide in whatever circumstances is considered shameful or, indeed, a sin that will send you to Hell.”

To many, those 'jumpers', those people, can’t be easily pigeon-holed. To consider their final decisions (in the main) is pretty hard - it’s painful to consider their lack of viable choices trapped in such a situation. It’s easy to ignore or sideline them, or allow religion to file them shamefully away. Many don’t want to deal with the pain and confusion. But we have to, because to ignore them is to forget them, and they deserve better.

It made my blood boil because those people were already in a man-made Hell of unimaginable proportions and whether they chose to leap out of that, were confused and fell, or just couldn’t physically stand the heat or choking fumes, they deserve not just our sympathy but our respect. I wonder if feelings would be different if these lone falling figures were on fire, or visibly distressed? I can’t imagine the panic in those buildings, and I don’t really want to - because there but by the grace of whoever you consider Holy, go you or I. These people were not somehow letting the side down by not really trying to get home (I’ve heard that view expressed). They abandoned a place of fear, pain and destruction because they had no choice, or were in blind panic or shock.

To suggest or hint that their way of dying is somehow shameful, is offensive in the extreme. To imply that they’re not just as much victims as all those others caught up in the melee, is disgusting. There’s no glory to be had in situations like this - there’s no one-upmanship. Really, when it comes down to it, no-one dies in a more heroic fashion than another in such a revolting situation - regardless of whether you were the one who perished in a staircase, cowered in a corner, maintained a stiff upper lip, or descended to the ground while the buildings dissolved.

Our job, if we have one, on 9/11 is to remember every one of those who did not survive the mass atrocity. That was the day they all breathed their last and fell to earth, each and every single, struggling, gasping, frightened, heroic, weeping, human one. I pity you if you’re one of those trying to demean the death of another living, breathing, human being. Especially if you're using religion to judge which deaths are more 'acceptable' than others. God forbid you ever have to make such a hellish choice.

Have some humanity. It is you who should be ashamed.

Neil Gaiman underlined my 'you'

2011-08-29T16:55:00.005+01:00

And so to the (near) end of the Edinburgh Fringe and Festival. It began inauspiciously with exhaust-gate when my entire long assembly decided it wanted to meet the road - but a few hundred quid lighter and 3 hours in Kwik-Fit, and I was mobile again so I actually managed to get along to a few things this year. Highlights certainly including seeing The Overcoat at The Pleasance Dome, adapted by a playwright friend Catherine Grosvenor, for which the lead actor Billy Mack has just won a much-deserved award from The Stage. Also enjoyed Multiple Choice at The Surgeon's Hall, staged by John Yule and written by screenwriting (and now playwriting) mate Ronnie Mackintosh; and the experimental Dummy Jim event at the Edinburgh Book Fest in the wonderful Spiegeltent.

My final event was on Saturday in the pouring rain amidst lost Tattoo buses filled with tourists and a rowdy stag-do seeking Edinburgh's infamous 'pubic triangle'. I scored a ticket for Edinburgh Bookshop's 'Evening With Neil Gaiman'. I've been aware of Gaiman's work for years and have dipped in and out, but suddenly realised that I hadn't tackled anything since Coraline. So I bought Anansi Boys and am so far enjoying and intrigued by Fat Charlie. Took it along on Saturday, a little trepidacious, and descended into the crypt-ish restaurant of St John's church where it was due to take place. Above it, drummers rhythmically drummed through the entire night giving humorous emphasis to random bits, as the Edinburgh Tattoo boomed out its cannons.

Turned out it was fantastic, warm-hearted evening with a reading of Chivalry, a short about the discovery of the Holy Grail, Q&A, interview and then much signing. I'd ended up on a table with a lovely couple getting a Gaiman book signed for each of their children. I always feel awkward getting things signed but bolstered by the gentle, lovely atmosphere I braved the queue and sputtered something about this being my first 'grown-up' Gaiman novel (no matter how you prepare I always find that the beaming, slightly wild-eyed 10 year old in you pops out on occasions like this). But, Mr Gaiman was smiling and gracious and whilst I babbled on about Mills & Boon (don't ask) he suggested that since this was a 'first', special book, therefore he would sign it to me on the dedication page. And he did. And I was delighted. And then I had to go sit down and drink some organic cola (don't do it kids, it's pretty nasty) to recover. Henderson's provided some fab nibbles, and then it was chucking-out time.

When I got back to my car, clutching my treasured book, a tall blonde was half-collapsed against the side of it, vomiting on the back wheel - she groaned a sort-of-apology and staggered off on platforms the size of dictionaries. I could hear singing, and on the ground was a torn ticket for something that boasted 'cake AND pianos'. That's the festival for you - all life is there. Fat Charlie would have been proud.

Dummy Jim

2011-08-20T00:34:00.000+01:00

Brilliant night at the Speigeltent in the Edinburgh Book Festival to see a live and somewhat experimental performance about Dummy Jim, a feature project by Matt Hulse about James Duthie a profoundly deaf Scotsman who cycled to the Arctic Circle in 1951.

Readings from Duthie's journals, combined with glorious, live music from The One Ensemble and Sarah Kenchington in the billowing, creaking, glowing, atmospheric Speigeltent. I won Dummy Jim badges in the raffle, and left inspired, only to hit the train-wreck that is Lothian Road on a Friday night, however it was somewhat lightened by a very drunk but unfeasibly cheery ned who insisted on a wee dance, and didn't push his luck. I had a pin badge. I was not afraid to use it.

Half a moon saw me home and as I hit the motorway, I saw Jupiter. That means something.

Inspiring evening.

A Place In The Sun*

2011-07-04T12:30:00.003+01:00

* There's no Shelley Winters in this post.

I'm writing this outside in sunny Scotland, 25C to be exact in an outfit that HAS NO SLEEVES. That's pretty rare in these parts. Something else rather rare - I'm having a few days off with the intention of doing not very much, but the hope that I may get to writing. I think this blog entry may be the only bit of writing that actually gets done as I'm finding it refreshing to not have to string words together creatively. Instead I'm sitting in the sun drawing, thinking, and wondering if it's time to enjoy another long soak in the bath - it's hell I tell you. Thought I'd break out the laptop (not looking at emails though - just this post, then I'm done!), in between baths and admiring my lack of sleevage.

May and June were busy months. That's putting it mildly. The previous post tells the story of the BAFTA Rocliffe Forum adventure which occupied my brain for most of that period, but other things happened too. Interesting things. At least I think so. Just before the Forum, Love Cake, the short film that I wrote as my graduation short had its cast and crew screening. The film is very close to my heart so it was fantastic to see it on the big screen at The Cameo in Edinburgh, and with some familiar faces from the cast and crew who (some) I hadn't seen since last year's shoot. You can watch the trailer here. Hopefully it will go out into the world now to a wider audience, and a few festivals. Fly my pretty! The film had its beginnings in a brainstorming class at Screen Academy Scotland back in 2008, which resulted in Love Cake and then Masterbaker (feature) which I'm now rewriting after the feedback from the previously mentioned Forum.

May also saw the shooting of a teaser short in Edinburgh for another project I'm writing, Edinburgh Digest (working title). It's a black comedy horror feature in development with North Isle Productions. I wrote the experimental teaser after we found out the project was heading off to Cannes as part of the Producer's Network, and it was then developed, shot and edited in record time. You can see it here: Edinburgh Digest teaser. Gives a little taste of what is to come. It's now heading into serious development which I'm looking forward to. Here for the ED facebook group.

In June I wrote a 2-minute short, originally with the intention of making it quickly for Virgin Media Shorts but time was/is against us, so now we've slowed things down and hope to get it organised over the Summer - good decision I think. It also allows us a little more lee-way regarding the level of humour we can use.

Money is tight as always, and I'm looking for a new job, so these few days off are precious before I enter the sweaty fray of today's job market.

Enjoy the summer while you can - embrace the inevitable sunburn and fat arms and pink sweaty near-nakedness and socks & sandals, and sand in unlikely places, and wasp stings, and the absolutely unadulterated glory of lying on your chosen patch of public or private green and being warm under a blue sky.

For soon it will be time for sleeves.

Masterbaker @ Rocliffe

2011-06-20T15:59:00.007+01:00

Following on from my last post, the BAFTA Rocliffe Forum For New Writing happened last Thursday at this year's Edinburgh International Film Festival, and I'm still alive!

The process started back in March when the call went out for emerging writers interested in having their work staged with live feedback from industry professional(s) and an audience. I'd been following the Rocliffe Forum for some time, but was prompted to enter when they announced one of their forums was to be staged in Edinburgh. I was also just about to start rewriting the feature I had graduated Screen Academy Scotland with, Masterbaker, so it was perfect timing. Masterbaker is the tale of a broken-hearted, small-town baker who is unexpectedly inspired to save his family business by diversifying into a new line of earth-moving, erotic cakes.

The application process called for a 10 min extract from a project, logline and synopsis, along with some background material. I entered, then promptly forgot about it, until I got the good news in May that I had been long-listed. And then, rather thrillingly, quite quickly afterwards, got the call that said I was 1 of the 3 lucky writers chosen to be showcased.

A couple of weeks later, and the day itself finally dawned. I'll admit to a few sleepless nights and stage-frighty mornings in the build-up, because although I was delighted to let the world (or at least some of it) see Masterbaker, I wasn't that enamoured with the idea of undertaking a Q&A session LIVE on STAGE. It's not my natural habitat. However, the chance to have feedback face-to-face with the industry guests and audience was too good to miss, especially when the guests were announced as BAFTA winning screenwriter Matt Greenhalgh (Control, Nowhere Boy) and BAFTA winning producer from Red, Nicola Shindler (Unforgiven, Clocking Off). I was also a little concerned that the excerpt I had chosen might not represent the whole project as well as it could, however I decided to abandon that concern until the feedback stage - viewing it as a bit of an experiment - the staging of a 10 minute abridged excerpt live on stage, from (in this case) a 95-minute feature film for the big screen was a challenging prospect.

On the day itself, I was first up for rehearsals in the impressive and comfortingly old-skool environment of Edinburgh University's Teviot House. Director Susan Jacobson put the actors through their paces, massaged the excerpt into place for the stage, and very kindly checked that I was happy with everything. So far so good - the dialogue read well, and got a few giggles (it's a romantic comedy) in the right places, and whilst I'm not sure that one of my monologues will survive the next draft for the screen, on stage it worked well and gave a real high-point to the final minutes. The actors were fantastic - supportive, talented, enthusiastic and very kind.

Cut to later, and a final quicky technical rehearsal where I learned that I was to be the first excerpt up (cue silent scream), met the other 2 writers and then we walked through the stages of the evening to come. Matt and Nicole would feed-back on the staged excerpt (not having seen the whole script), I'd have a chance to respond, and then take questions from the audience. With the process to be repeated for the other writers.

We were all positioned on the front row, and became aware as the technical rehearsal neared its end, of a growing hubbub - the audience was arriving (cue terror and excitement). Before I knew it, the lights dimmed - full house - and then suddenly Masterbaker was being introduced, with specially composed music while the screened image and logline was shown above. The actors performed their socks off - the audience laughed - i began to sweat a little more than is normal and then I was up on stage with a microphone.

I've done a few Q & A's in much smaller venues, mostly to do with projects I've been involved with but haven't written, but never on my own work, and never on a major stage with full lighting rig beaming into my eyes - you really can't see very much, and it's definitely a strange sensation to be the focus of a few hundred pairs of eyes. After a chance to explain Masterbaker a little more fully to the audience (thank goodness my mind didn't go blank, as I feared), Matt and Nicola gave their thoughts, and were constructive, helpful and perceptive. I even managed to respond a few times without gibbering. Then, to the audience. I had a few questions, and apparently I answered everything in the correct language and in a vaguely understandable way, but to be honest, I can't remember a thing (but thanks to having a handy mate taking notes - thanks Fi! - I have the evidence).

Marc and Rob, the other 2 writers followed the same pattern, and accomplished themselves admirably, and then Matt and Nicola had a Q&A of their own. Then, lights up, done. Phew.

After the event there were networking drinks at the bar. Many contacts were made, drinks were downed, and discussions were had.

Following the event, I've some contacts to follow up on, and am now suitably inspired for my next draft. I'm even considering a change of medium - perhaps an experimental draft will be next just to see where it takes me. I'd definitely recommend the event to writers - it's a workout of your idea and your extract. It showcases what you can do to a large audience, some of whom are established in the industry, and it opens you up to ideas and advice - some inspiring, some less so, but all interesting - it's up to you whether you take them/it. It was also a great place to meet people and talk about writing - once you've been on stage and people know your face, it's amazing, subsequently, how many will approach you to chat about the event, and in some cases (thank you!) tell you how much they liked the project. Don't be put off if like me, you haven't much 'stage' experience, as everyone involved with the Rocliffe and BAFTA were very supportive, and everything was talked through beforehand. Also don't try to second-guess what the Forum will want - alongside my romantic comedy, there was a horror, and a drama with links to a war-torn country.

Be bold. You've nothing to lose but your inhibitions. And quite frankly, I'm now rather keen to get my hands on another microphone just for the sheer hell of it. Maybe.

Massive thanks to Farah, Susan, everyone at the Rocliffe, Alex and everyone at BAFTA, Nicola and Matt, the actors, composer, and everyone else involved.

BAFTA Rocliffe Forum for New Writing

2011-06-05T15:15:00.001+01:00

My feature script, Masterbaker has been selected as 1 of 3 UK projects from 400 applications, for the BAFTA Rocliffe Forum for New Writing at the Edinburgh International Film Festival 2011. A 10 minute extract will be performed live on stage in the presence of an audience, and industry guests producer Nicola Shindler (of Red Productions) and writer Matt Greenhalgh (Nowhere Boy, Control, Cold Feet, Burn It); followed by feedback, Q&A and networking.

Click here for more info and tickets.

Whilst my heart will, no doubt, be in my mouth, my words will be live on stage - it's a great opportunity. Thanks to Rocliffe Forum and BAFTA.

On another exciting note, BAFTA Rocliffe want to take 3 new British writers to the New York Television Festival (NYTVF) from 20 to 25 Sept 2011 to showcase their work in front of the cream of the US TV industry. More info here.

What is that strange yellow ball in the sky...

2011-04-04T21:57:00.004+01:00

Love Cake has its final mix this coming week, *squeal*. More news soon.

There isn't a much better feeling than standing in a warm wood with the sun flooding through the trees.

Hello Spring.

Persona - the most fun you can have in the palm of your hand

2011-03-05T22:07:00.012Z

So finally I can talk about the 'unexpected opportunity' mentioned in the last-blog-but-one. It wasn't a deliberate tease, promise - just decided not to count my chickens until they'd hatched, so to speak. Anyway, I'm pleased to confirm that I'm one of the writers on season 3 of Persona from the rather forward-thinking company App Media - I've scripted 16 app-isodes. Now I hear you cry - what on earth is Persona? Well, I helpfully answer, Persona is the world's first ever drama series for the smartphone. Here's the science (official) bit:

"Lives, loves, laughs and longings are delivered directly to your phone in daily, byte-sized ‘appisodes’. Secrets are unravelled, lies exposed, hopes crushed and true love ... ? Well, you'll have to wait and see! Follow four very different people as they embark on a series of extraordinary life-adventures in a brand new continuing drama series designed specifically for the 21st Century. Persona - a big drama in the palm of your hand."

More info if you so desire it at App Media's website.

You can watch the trailer here.

And catch up on the edited version of what Persona's characters are up to here.

Facebook: Persona and App Media.

Twitter: App Media and Persona.

Persona was also recently reviewed on the UK Scriptwriters podcast. I recommend you listen to the whole podcast as Danny and Tim discuss interesting and amusing things, but if you're pushed, they start reviewing Persona around 22mins in.

It was a challenge, but a satisfying one, and I'm proud of my final 16 app-isodes. I'm enjoying watching Season 1 (and it, as well as Season 2, features a whole host of writers including my good friend, Ronnie Mackintosh), and casting for Season 3 is already underway.

All credit to App Media, Phill Barron and the team for the opportunity.

Love Cake

2011-02-14T11:56:00.005Z

Happy Valentine's Day, and to celebrate here's the trailer for the new short film I've written, Love Cake. Directed by the lovely Eleanor Yule, and produced by the also lovely Selena Darke.

If you'd like to follow Love Cake and stay updated on its journey, you can join our Facebook group here.

Remember... everyone needs a little sweetness...

Love Cake trailer from Aldo Palumbo on Vimeo.

Film and trailer edited by the amazing Aldo Palumbo.

Flash! And it's 2011.

2011-01-01T20:21:00.009Z

Finally, the snow has gone except for odd solid mounds of dirty ice at the side of the road that look like slumbering polar bears. I was slightly disappointed to not have to get out my Leatherman and head for the hills, but there's still time.

So that was 2010. It went by in a flash, and a flurry of activity, and I seem to have been busy for most of it.

Work things:

Early in 2010, a horror short that I began as an experiment on the MFA course was optioned, a fantastic young director attached. The script has now been green-lit for production hopefully in 2011. Exciting. It has a limb in it... that's all I'm saying for now.

And that short led to me being asked to script a feature film with the same production company, set in Scotland - a black comedy with a horror heart. At a very early development stage, we decided on a whim to apply for...

The Vision Pictures pitching event at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. We rather unexpectedly won a place, which gave us a workshop day to develop and hone a professional pitch, and then test out our super-powers (I wish) in front of the general public, and invited guest panel from Scottish Screen, UK Film Council, BBC Drama and others. Terrifying, educational and I learned a lot. Best bit was that the pitch went down a storm with the public - they laughed at the right bits, and appreciated the black humour straight away - and during the rest of the fest, I even had the pleasure of a few members of the audience coming up to me to say how much they enjoyed the pitch, and wanting further info on the film. The industry panel were all very supportive and enthusiastic. We then got the chance to pitch directly to the Film Council through Birds Eye View, and gain some valuable advice - rather brilliant, and testament to where a interesting idea can get you even when it's early in the project. It's come on leaps and bounds since then, and now we have the perfect director on board, we'll be shooting some promo material and setting up a website shortly. More info soon.

Few days after the EIFF, my original graduation short film was shot on 16mm (hurrah) - due out in early 2011 - proper info to follow soon - don't want to jinx it until the final mix is done, but I got the chance to work with (and annoy) some amazing people. It's looking glorious and everyone did such a fantastic job - we even had a cherry-picker!

Co-curated the 2nd in a series of short film programmes at the Edinburgh Filmhouse for new scottish film-makers. It met with an encouraging response and it was great to meet so many enthusiastic film-makers - excellent learning experience and something I can heartily recommend if you ever get the chance. It's very easy to have a either a negative or positive response to a film, but it's much harder to work out and vocalise the reasons why - often with intriguing and unexpected results.

Got through the first cut of the London Screenwriters Festival & Wellcome Trust 'Inspired By Science' competition, which gave a project that I'd had lying about for a while a right good kick up the arse - reinspired and ready to be refined in 2011.

Finished a feature script connected to my graduation short - redrafting this over the next few months as I have a fiendish plan.

Finally graduated with an MFA Distinction in Advanced Film Practice (Screenwriting) - a long part-time haul for me at times, but as a more mature student, it was a pretty glorious experience in the main. Ate up a lot of time and finance but for me, absolutely worth it. And a nice surprise at the end of it, when I was awarded the Santander Film & Creative Media Prize for Excellence.

I wore a dress (I know, not a work thing... but connected in a slightly surreal way).

The end of the year brought an unexpected opportunity, which I shall blog about next time - just want to dot all my i's and cross my t's before I blab - but it's meant planning out a series of episodes dealing with an unusual relationship.

My work resolutions are simple - to grasp every opportunity I can, be more organised, meet more people, plan ahead and do as much as I can to get as many projects on the go as I can, and solidify the inroads I've made in 2010.

I'm rather looking forward to 2011... sartorially I'm thinking perhaps a balaclava... or spats... will my bum look big in those?

Every time he comes up, he's got no knife, he's got no jacket, he's got no pants, he's got no boots. All he's got is that stupid gun he carries around

2010-12-06T12:16:00.004Z

Why when you have an enforced snow week, do you feel less inclined to get down to writing than when you're rushing around like a blue-arsed fly with absolutely no time to spare? Discuss.

This is the drift I fell into earlier - it wasn't as much fun as it sounds. We've had a week of heavy snow, and now it's started again. No-one is out gritting or clearing the majority of the roads, except for the hardy locals, and I've seen very little on the News - plenty about the south of England suffering though because they have frost (FROST! I ask you), and that there might be a sprout shortage (God forbid).

Tesco won't deliver, and the local shops are running out... I give it 2 days then I'm holing up in the woods with a commando survival tent, a big gun and a deer carcass. You're either with me or against me.

New Scientist Flash fiction competition 2010

2010-11-09T21:11:00.005Z

The New Scientist is running a competition, looking for very short stories about futures that never were, and.... (drum roll) NEIL GAIMAN is judging the shortlist! You know, the guy that wrote American Gods, Coraline, Sandman.....

The winning entry will be printed in the special end-of-year issue of New Scientist and the most entertaining and thought-provoking runners-up will be featured online.

350 words (including title) before 19 November 2010. Go on. Kapow.

(Link corrected and working now)

More info here.

Fall

2010-10-31T12:15:00.004Z

I took the photo of the glowing maple at the Botanic Gardens yesterday when saying farewell to a friend. First time out and about for a week as a few days ago I fell down a rabbit hole in the woods and twisted my ankle. But that's fading into a purple, yellow bruise now, a bit like Autumn so I'm mobile again. Everywhere looks like it's blooming its last before Winter sets in, and the colours are amazing.

Talking of Winter, have you seen Winter's Bone? It's an extraordinary film with an incredible central performance by Jennifer Lawrence. Cleverly structured, heartfelt, cold, terrifying, real and wonderful. The initial marketing made me think it wasn't for me but I was encouraged to see it and am glad I did - a truly involving film. It was written and directed by Debra Granik and won the Grand Jury Prize: Dramatic Film at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival. Try and see it if you can - it suits this chilly time of year.

I'm finally about to head into (mild) horror territory tomorrow with a rewrite on a feature treatment - haven't been able to do much writing as of late with so many other things going on, so am looking forward to it. Although I hate it at the time, sometimes an enforced break means you get to rediscover the excitement of writing all over again - absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Bring on the blank page and terror!

Happy Halloween - I wish you warm socks and treacle toffee.

I wish

2010-10-28T16:36:00.000+01:00

I wish I was fearless.

I wish I was eastern-bound and weighed down by nothing but minimal baggage and expectation.

I wish I could summon up courage in a heartbeat and spread it ahead of me to cushion any fall.

I wish I was brick-built and indestructible.

I wish I was solid and honourable and impervious to charm.

I wish I was complicated as slate and simple as rain.

I wish I was smooth and ruffle-free.

I wish I was sturdy and unable to sway.

Sometimes.

I wish I was rock.

And mahogany.

And knowing.

I wish I was you.

October

2010-10-24T16:45:00.003+01:00

My screenwriter mate Ronnie has finally bowed to the wonders of blogging and started one up. If you fancy a peek at his hitherto unrevealed glories, then click along here.

On another note - was pleased to discover I'd got through the first cut of the London Screenwriters Festival & Wellcome Trust 'Inspired By Science' competition - didn't win it, but chuffed nonetheless as forcing myself to meet the deadline has given me an unexpected shove towards completing the project I entered, a thriller called Those Connected By Blood. And the fact it got at least part of the way, was a nice confidence boost.

The tomatoes are finished, the strawberries are still fruiting (which is beyond weird), and the yellow roses are fighting to maintain their petals as October winds cut through.

Soon be time for bonfires in muddy fields, toffee apples, fireworks and mulled wine.

Shall we dance while the leaves fall?

Time please

2010-10-22T14:32:00.007+01:00

Hark! It's Autumn already, sh*t that means Christmas is approaching, jeebus.

It's been a busy month so far, but finally after a complicated few years I am no longer a student! Hurrah! Yesterday was the official graduation day for my course, and I was pleased to be awarded a (deep breath) MFA in Advanced Film Practice (Screenwriting) with Distinction.

Now whilst I'm aware that qualifications in this creative world don't necessarily count for much, for me, the course gave me focused time to work on my writing, access to advice and lots of interesting professionals, the chance to make contacts, start making actual films, and find my 'voice' and a little confidence - I'm having a small proud moment. In addition I received an email out of the blue saying I'd been awarded the Santander Film & Creative Media Prize for Excellence which comes with a rather nice cheque - thank you very much.

There's always much debate about whether writers and filmmakers need qualifications - some have and some haven't - but there's a rather insidious, (bordering on the snide) lot in the blue corner who seem to relish pouring scorn on those in the creative field who choose to participate in something that has an element of teaching in it.

You know what annoys me about that - you can't generalise when it comes to the creative process or those involved in it. Some people do better without an exam result to their name, others like a structured existence where they have access to academic facilities and support. I'm neither - but at times in my life I've enjoyed both of those experiences. None of it is right or wrong, don't tell me what suits me, my writing and my chosen education process (whether it's life or school, or a bit of both), and I won't tell you. Do what helps fire your belly and inspires your creative process. If you find yourself stalling, try something new - go to a class if you've never tried one before, or if you're a serial class-attender, give yourself a break from structure and see what happens - scary maybe but perhaps it will be exhilarating and life-changing.

Don't listen to the scorn-pourers, they're frustrated and determined to make themselves feel bigger and better than they actually are by belittling you.

Access to education is a wonderful thing - I hope political machinations don't kill it for the majority with these cuts and proposals.

Keep reading, learning, sharing, networking, talking, dancing and exploring what and who you are, and what you might become.

Life's too short.

Paul Abbott: find extraordinary things in ordinary lives

2010-09-02T12:39:00.004+01:00

In exchange for a few hours volunteering last week, I was lucky enough to get a place in a masterclass by Paul Abbott as part of the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival. He's a writer I admire hugely, having written Clocking Off, a particular favourite of mine, and Shameless, Linda Green and Touching Evil as well as having involvement in numerous other respected projects. Amongst other things, he's currently working on the US version of Shameless and a project called 'Reading And Writing For Boys'.

Notes:

Regarding what gets him writing, he mentioned the possibilities of wondering what someone will 'do next' if you were to invent it, and the challenge of, "I bet I can write what you're thinking".

On Shameless and writing the truth of a situation (the series was inspired by his own experiences in a family of 10), "even we didn't know what we looked like from the outside... take the audience to a place they didn't know they wanted to go... and compel them to watch".

When writing a screenplay about anything, but particularly adaptations, "make all of it count but in fewer words".

Writing TV series, and working out what succeeds and what doesn't, "every series should be like a (music) album, and every episode is a track that has to deserve its place on the album".

Resistance - I shall say zis only wance

2010-08-13T19:45:00.004+01:00

That's what the inside of my rusty brain looks like now but not nearly so pretty.

This feature script draft is giving me a headache. I've been trying to drag out of it something serious that hits lots of resonant points and has important things to say and every time I try to make it behave, it just pokes me in the eye and runs away wearing a pink tutu and a flowery hat. What I mean is that this draft seems to know it's actually a big fun, fluffy tale with a bit of a soft heart, and it's refusing to be corralled into anything else. Have you ever found a draft running away with itself?

I suspect it's a good thing although it is hugely frustrating. I've decided to let the tutus have it though, as this amount of resistance is making me think that maybe I am the one in the wrong, and the big fun, fluffy tale is the one who knows its way. Fly my pretties, and don't blame me if you end up with candyfloss on your face.

BTW if you get the chance to see Robin Ince talking about his new book about Bad Books, then run along forthwith as it's very funny, includes killer crabs and Mills & Boon quotations, and some free jazz and tap-dancing. I laughed myself just about sick (but not quite).

Action!

2010-07-21T14:41:00.003+01:00

Above is sunny location 4 from the film shoot in Edinburgh.

Thoroughly enjoyed the Edinburgh International Film Festival - saw many films, some obscure and some less so, and enjoyed a pitching workshop (terror notwithstanding), then a day off, swiftly followed by the shooting of my graduation short - amazing experience. I hung around a lot and mucked in managing a bit of production design, some running and driving, bit of acting during rehearsals and lots of tea-making but it meant I could really watch the craft side of things and it was fascinating and rather heart-warming to watch professionals at work in each of their departments. Also slightly surreal to see things I made up in my own head over a year ago made into reality. Long days and nights, hard work, but done - can't wait to see the first cut. I know I'm talking 'around' the details but more info when it's finished.

Now trying to make up my earnings and finish off the last project for graduation - a feature script and essay. Just when I need a break from writing, but needs must.

Been clearing out old files, funny what you find. Must learn to put ideas into notebook for future reference or they get lost in desktop hell. The baby and toddler in this are now about to be 4 and 6 - shows you how old it is! :

"Right here, right now I am sitting waiting in an angled ray of sun listening to the bubble and squeak of sausages trembling in hot fat in the kitchen. My mother is there cooking, making special plates for the family - there is me, and then there will be the visiting carload of brother and wife and toddler and baby. We await them now. The house scented with breakfast and polish. The plum tree empty but the tomato vines still heavy. They will be picked dry and we will have soft unduilating spreading tomatos on plates into which we can dip our bread. That tomato will smear Lauren and she will be pleased. All the mess - admired by the baby. He will be too busy with breast to notice but on chance we will watch his eyes slide towards her, content to let her accomplish. Right here right now I am pushing all thoughts of weekday working and long slog commuting to the back of my mind. I am sniffing snags and feeling stomach grumbles while the wait continues. "

Fashion! Turn to the left.

2010-06-01T21:50:00.005+01:00

Back in 2007/2008, I had a treatment accepted as part of a film being made as an Yves Saint Laurent / SHOWstudio collaboration for their '24hrs' collection - The Script Factory put out a call for filmmakers interested in collaborating, so I wrote something and sent it; it got picked. ANYWAY, forgotten all about it, until I was updating my CV yesterday and realised I never followed up to see what had happened. Turns out it was completed, and used in various forms as an art project and in YSL's advertising campaign. I even found an image from the filming of 'my' section, inspired by Maya Deren. Wonder if I can get hold of a copy. Does this mean I can say I worked with YSL? Maybe not, but I kinda did.... almost....

Time flies

2010-05-30T17:57:00.003+01:00

Been a while ma cherie, months have been whizzing by. Since I last checked in, I've been doing some redrafts of a short shooting over the summer - VERY excited about it but can't talk much until it's actually shooting then some info - I don't want to jinx it. Also another which hopefully will shoot in the Autumn - this one's a blackly humorous horror which has led to a similarly veined feature set in Scotland which I'm currently working on - also very exciting but I'm fearful of the jinx fairy so lips zipped for a little while yet.

The first short I worked on is now in post-production, and I'm in the process of finishing off a feature script for my MFA course - need to get that redrafted once more over the summer, and also an essay.

Finally saw Kick Ass after a few false starts - ignore the scaremongerers going on about the language - it's funny, sharp, well-written, concise and about as much fun as you can have legally in a cinema. The violence looks painful (as it should) and the lead actor Aaron Johnson is pretty damn extraordinary. The rest of the cast all do a brilliant job, particularly Chloe Moretz who plays well beyond her years - seriously, no-one lets it down. I can't fault it - it does what it promises. Even Nic Cage gets a successfully tender moment whilst encased in rubber. FUN. Just saw Kick Ass 2: Balls To The Wall has been announced - fingers crossed it's as good.

Also saw Hot Tub Time Machine - it wasn't as funny as it thought it was but some of the 80's references were amusing, and a particularly gross joke involving hand-soap did make me giggle. It was disappointing, and also a little obvious with nubile lovelies blatantly shoe-horned in just to up the (naked) titty factor for the aimed-for male audience. It got tiresome pretty quickly, and John Cusack looked to be wearing too much eyeliner for my liking. Clark Duke as Jacob was the best thing in it. he plays a nerd, but he's a smart, sweet-hearted one. Crossover points - both Duke and Lyndsy Fonseca were in Kick Ass and HTTM.

Other happenings - my niece finally lost her first tooth after much fretting hurrah, the irises are out, I bought petunias from a one-eyed man, and have an idea for a 1970s-style inspired horror, and a new series of shorts - there isn't enough time - can somebody stretch it?

Bot out

2010-03-25T21:37:00.003Z

Ok so I go away for a WHOLE day, and when I return, what do I find? 27 porn-bot comments. May your sexy Japanese ladies give you many painful sores. I've lived on trust in this blog up to now. I've been free and easy baby, and now your grubby spamming has left me no option but to pre-approve any comments - it's like you've forced me to work for the Man now bot. It's war.

Shutter Island was entertaining, and some of the visuals and cinematography were rather exquisite - I know it's obvious (like some bits of the main 'twist') but it has huge Hitchcock references, and some glowing Powell & Pressburger moments - check out the rhodedendrons. Di Caprio is definitely growing as an actor.

Also saw Elegy - too much adoration of Penelope Cruz's (admitted) gorgeousness but rather moving. Best bits are the manly chats between Dennis Hopper and Ben Kingsley - well observed and grown-up. Patricia Clarkson is class as always (she's also in Shutter Island).

Spring

2010-03-18T13:59:00.004Z

Things to look forward to:

Big blue skies and fluffy Turner-esque clouds
daffodils and irises
Kick Ass
not having to wear a coat
and a scarf
and gloves
and a balaclava
and legwarmers
*
homegrown tomatoes
so many tomatoes
tomato chutney
fried green tomatoes
tomato sauces
clothing that isn't fleece or waterproof
freckles
Mark Lanegan touring
paddling
sitting outside and not getting frostbite
writing outside and not getting frostbite
bare feet
brambles
Mamas and Papas
picnics
sand
warm rain
lots of rain
too damn much rain
wellies
picking peas with small people
sunny afternoon naps that don't mean a thing

If you haven't seen the film, Let The Right One In, you should - you'll either love or hate it with a passion. I loved it. It's very beautiful, odd, emotive and spare.

Suits you sir

2010-02-02T18:47:00.004Z

(pic from Bonhams)
Fancy getting your sweaty mitts on David Tennant's shirt, Kylie's bloomers, Billie Piper's t-shirt or other assorted Dr Who costumes and props? Bonhams are having an auction from the BBC archive. You can even buy the Torchwood Land Rover! Even though I'm not buying, the geek in me is oddly excited

Happy New Year

2010-01-22T20:07:00.003Z

It's only January 22nd - go me.

There's been a lot of snow. It's gone now.

Rural Scotland is not cut out for snow - especially when they stop gritting minor roads. It goes all war-time with panic-buying in the shops, and people cooking massive pots of stew that could feed an army 'just in case'. The bins weren't collected for 3 weeks, and most conversations centred on the best type of wellies, and whether martial law would soon be declared - it wasn't, but when I did eventually get into an M&S, there was a young man chasing a wagtail in the sushi aisle, with a large cardboard box. It was a sign I tell you.

Even when they do grit, and the snow leaves, it still feels vaguely 1940's. Today I drove into Edinburgh but only after negotiating 2 tractors, a fox, and a white van that was carrying stair-lifts. I'm thinking of unravelling old jumpers to knit a balaclava, or maybe some knitted pants - next week, how to crochet a pie.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

2009-12-23T22:36:00.003Z

Let your heart be light

Pieces of Silver

2009-12-21T18:46:00.003Z

At least a decade ago, I was working as a silversmith and artist-jeweller - I stopped 'making' around 2000 after a major life-event (that sounds very Oprah doesn't it). Anyway, I had stuff in collections, on exhibition and in various galleries. I had mixed experiences - learned a lot of things along the way - lost work to thieves in badly secured galleries, and most spectacularly a couple of neckpieces to a smash-and-grab raid on a Gallery in the West of Scotland, when someone backed a car into the gallery window where my work was on display and nabbed the lot.

In general though, pretty good. One of the last places I sent work to was a newish but well-respected gallery in England. They receipted the work, so all was well. After a while, when I did check back with them - they'd disappeared. I think they went bust (although that's probably the polite version). I tried emailing my contacts, called a few people - seemed like a lost cause. Gave up. Bit annoyed - more than a few quid down - but carried on. Every now and again over the past few years I'd do a random google check to see what I could find - nothing.

Fast forward to earlier tonight, and a neighbour dropped in a little package that had been wrongly left with them. Inside, are all of the pieces of silver I sent down to that gallery over a decade ago, filthy and in need of some TLC, but mine. With them was an anonymous note saying they'd been found in an archive, that some of them might be missing, but that if found, they'd be sent on to me in due course. No signature, no address or name, nothing. I think most of them, if not all, are there - can't find my original receipt now - probably chucked it once I'd given up hope. How wonderful is that! I'm going to think of it as someone doing a truly good deed, whether from guilt or just kindness.

Thank-you whoever you are - it's lovely to see things I made and hallmarked when I was a much-different person all those years ago. You could have kept them, sold them or passed them on to one of those annoying precious metal adverts that gum up the telly, but no, you packaged them up carefully and sent them home. To me. You've made my year.

Here's to the good people.

Inspiration

2009-11-27T22:19:00.003Z

I was talking to a few friends of mine tonight about the urge to keep creating, and how even when we doubt ourselves, we keep going. Then I got home and read the Kid In The Front Row's newest blog entry - It's A Kind Of Magic - Why We MUST Keep Creating Work Again And Again And AGAIN, and it inspired me.

You should read it. It might inspire you too. really.

May Contain Smoking

2009-11-19T17:50:00.003Z

I live in Scotland, so I'm used to rain but there's a helluva lot falling at the moment. The River Esk looks like it's just centimetres from spilling over and the coast road is flooded. I need an ark. Anyway whilst I prepare for a life underwater, here's a random list of things what hav' occurred:

Was gutted to miss a talk by James Moran couple of weeks ago, but thrilled to be seeing Mark Millar having a chat tomorrow - he of the Wanted series. If rain allows.

Went to the final part of the BBC Writer's Lab for Radio to hear the radio play that we'd collaboratively written and then had recorded at the BBC studio in Glasgow. Written experimentally and in a short amount of time, hopes were not high, but after an edit, it was really pretty good - some sections worked well, others not so, but all in all we were all chuffed with the result. Learnt a lot on that Lab, and not just about that specific medium, but writing and story-telling in general. Am about to start writing my first proper play for radio. Have a mentor session later this month so hope to discuss ideas then.

That's all my classes finished for the Uni course, so now it's a case of getting all my writing-up done, have a feature and a final essay to write, but those will have to wait until early 2010 after I've done any tweaking to Short 2 which will be in production in January; written the aforementioned radio play, which I'm contracted to do over the next few months; complete a feature outline for a scheme with a Producer; see if I can get an animation project off the ground; hopefully get Short 3 onto the starting blocks; and make a micro-short with some friends guerilla-style... I've also vowed to do something with THE NOVEL (yikes). It's tough fitting everything in though (you all know this though - whether you're a writer or someone who collects Star Wars toys - it takes TIME) alongside making a living, having a life, tracking down a wheel cover that has disappeared (no, I haven't a clue where or how... I worry that it's lying somewhere injured on a the side of a road, hoping I'll save it).

After never having any ideas for shorts for ages, I now feel like I've got far too many - it's a weird (and unexpected) situation to be in, so I'm looking at different ways and techniques of making them a reality - when I've got time.

And finally, talking of shorts - I've been involved in curating a showcase of short films with a Scottish connection, CAUGHT SHORT, which will be at the Edinburgh Filmhouse on 7th December. Our guest panellist who helped shortlist, and will be present for a panel discussion on the night, is BAFTA Scotland winner writer/director Justin Molotnikov from Synchronicity Films. His debut feature, Crying with Laughter, had its world premiere at Edinburgh international Film Festival in June 2009. If you're interested in coming along, more info here.

Psst - The Edinburgh Filmhouse is showing The Red Shoes in the lead-up to Christmas. That is my Christmas treat sorted. I adore it, and am looking forward to seeing it for the first time on the big screen. If you've never seen it, more here... how could you NOT wish to see a film by the glorious Powell & Pressburger which as the blurb warns "Please note: Contains mild threat, injury and smoking"!

How very dare you

2009-11-01T20:16:00.002Z

Shame on you! Yes you, over there in sunny California, searching on the net for 'brenda blethyn f*cking'.

More to the point - how the heck did it bring you to my blog?

Answers on a 'Secrets & Lies' postcard.

Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus

2009-10-18T17:59:00.004+01:00

Go and see The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus, do, because even though it has its uneven bits, and the odd just-visible patch here and there, it's full of glorious imagination, like a big raggedy, faded but still glittering fairy-tale. I didn't like some bits of it - some of it was confusing, but I loved the experience of it. The visuals are pretty stunning - the costumes and sets just glow. You'd never believe that a stage made from old wood and swagged with plastic sheeting and tarps could billow so beautifully like a ship in full sail, and you can forgive a few things for visual beauty like that.

I'd have loved to have seen what Heath Ledger would have done with his part had he finished the film, but as it stands, the 3 replacement actors fit in rather cleverly - though it's testament to his charming talent that Johnny Depp is the one you're left wishing for more of even when he's only been on screen for 2 or 3 minutes. Tom Waites is a rather delicious Devil too.

There was something definitely creepy about the bartering between good and evil over a 16 yr old girl who looks much older, and is played by a much older actress (Lily Cole)... nevermind the child-beating scene (I can't reveal more but you'll know it when you see it) but as a fantasy interpretation of a classic tale, it scoots past the uneasy, just.

Plenty nods to Monty Python too - especially with the cross-dressing Policemen and the giant heads.

Uncertain but delicious, like biting into a Revel and fearing you've chosen the coffee one but then gloriously realising that you have, in fact, got the coconut one.

GPS

2009-10-03T18:31:00.003+01:00

I have suspected it for a while but a recent driving trip through to Glasgow has proved it - I have my own particular form of internal GPS - Global Pisstaking System. Geography is not my strong point, especially when it's a) dark, b) underground or c) a month with an 'R' in it. Never has so much nervous energy been used up in so (reasonably) short a journey. Next week I'm taking Kendal mint cake and a flare gun.

Random bit of trivia: Did you know that the most popular names for those of the swinging persuasion are Paul and Catherine?

Pig-bits

2009-09-27T16:53:00.005+01:00

It's been a busy month so far - scrips and scraps of stuff really.

Am halfway through the BBC Lab - done my Edinburgh stint. Lots of fun and hard work. There's 8 other writers on it, mainly playwrights and novelists, though we have a stand-up comedian too! We've all bonded over coffee and biscuits, met assorted BBC writers and producers, done lots of creative exercises (including me having to act that my neighbour had killed my cat - it wasn't my finest moment, but it was surprisingly fun), and written a radio play between us. The play will be recorded by actors on the next bit of the Lab in Glasgow - looking forward to that - have never been in a radio recording before. More interesting people to meet and then a wrap party. I'm formulating an idea for a radio play at the moment - I think we get a chance to chat about our ideas before we are cast to the winds - I'm committed to writing the story anyway as it's stuck itself to my heart.

Short 1 is in the edit now - I think there's some pick-ups to do, but all seems calm.

Short 2 is in good shape script-wise, and is being shot in January so we can get the team we really want - this is a good decision.

Short 3 (welcome number 3) is being redrafted and seriously cut down to probably 2 minutes (maybe even 1) - I'm aiming for a bit of guerilla-filmmaking with this one - a friend and I are going to make it with camera, some actors, and possibly a cat.

Had an idea for a horror set in Glasgow - am now dying to write it, but making myself NOT DO IT YET. I do not have a lot of patience - delayed gratification isn't really my thing - but I must prioritise or I'll end up with half-done things.

Have to get on with my final piece of work for my course - aiming to start that in November - although at this rate I may junk my first draft and go for the horror instead just to see what I come up with, hmmm, undecided.

In the real world, oh how I love my local market - it's rough and ready with the occasional dodgy bit but all life is there - last week I saw motorbike racing, a cage-fighter, a box of pigs ears and assorted other pig-bits (and believe me they use all the pig), crossbows, and a full set of RAF uniforms. Ate chips while admiring a Royal Enfield - beautiful classic bike.

My phone has been acting a bit oddly, and has now finally died - apologies to anyone who tried to send texts or get in touch, but it's been behaving very badly. Should be up and running shortly.

I'm closing in on a 'big' birthday - I always said I'd get a tattoo when I made it - the chilly light of reality is starting to dawn...

Caught Short

2009-09-18T21:04:00.004+01:00

Firstly (hands up) I declare interest - I'm involved in the following venture but don't let that put you off. It's a great opportunity to get your (short) work out there.

Are you an an emerging film-maker (with a Scottish background) who's made a short film you're proud of, and that demonstrates a bold, original vision? Then we want to see it. We're looking for films that will surprise, delight and challenge us; anything from drama, documentary and animation to experimental works.

Caught Short is a new venture from the Edinburgh Skillset Screen and Media Academy in conjunction with Filmhouse.

Curated by students on the MFA Advanced Film Practice course and invited guest(s) from the film industry, it aims to champion and showcase emerging talent from film-makers with a Scottish connection, regardless of background or training. It will run twice a year – in December and May.

It's a chance to see your work on the big screen, showcased in a programme of selected Scottish shorts in one of Scotland's leading independent cinemas, the Filmhouse.

The guest panellist for the December 09 will be the award winning, Scottish based filmmaker, Justin Molotnikov. His shorts have won an impressive collection of awards and nominations including BAFTA, BAFTA Scotland, RTS, Celtic Film and TV Festival, Directors Guild of Great Britain. His debut feature film as a writer and director, Crying with Laughter, had its world premiere at Edinburgh International Film Festival in June 2009. Justin runs Synchronicity Films Ltd, along with Co-Creative director, Claire Mundell.

The screening of selected shorts will take place at 6pm, 7 December 2009 at Filmhouse. The next screening will take place in May 2010 with a call for submissions in February 2010.

Go on, astonish us!

Submission guidelines and form from here. Click 'Caught Short' on the menu'

Please pass on to anyone you think may be interested - DEADLINE is 30th September.

Desperate Romantics

2009-08-24T19:45:00.003+01:00

Anyone been watching 'Desperate Romantics' on BBC2? I had (wrongly) spurned it initially as a hokey attempt at updating a period of art that I'm particularly fond off, but have had my wrists slapped HARD after giving it a chance and finding it to be a bit of an addictive jolly romp. The script whacks along with a knowing wink and a lot of slap and tickle - there are acres of heaving bosoms and buttocks amongst repressed gasps as the coterie create art and intense poetry. The 'Brotherhood' of the said Romantics cut a frock-coated swathe through 19th century London. Rossetti, Hunt, Ruskin, Morris, Millais et al are all drawn in broad strokes, but 'DR' sticks close enough to fact (presumed though some of it is) to give it the sniff of authenticity whilst allowing the script by Peter Bowker (he also wrote the fabulous Blackpool) to slap along at great, FUN pace. That's the bottom line - 'DR' is fun, lighthearted, enjoyable and sexy - frothy 'nonsense' (and that's not to damn with faint praise) - I'm loving it. There's also something fantastic about the sumptuous way the script treats its female characters. Most are the lovers, muses and wives of the Brotherhood, but instead of squandering their roles as 'assistants' and mere background to the art, they're given a voluptuousness and life that makes them glow. These are not women as accessories, regardless of whether they are prostitutes or repressed spinsters, these are sharp, real, (in some cases) sexual creatures who are not afraid to speak their mind or satisfy their desires. Amy Manson as the laudanum-addicted redhead Lizzie Siddal, and Jennie Jacques as Annie Miller are particularly good.

There's no doubt that many unpleasant and less salubrious areas of 19th century life are glossed over and romanticised, but this never set out to be a political piece or social commentary, but instead, revels in being an indulgent, saucy, peek behind the Pre-Raphaelite curtains.

I don't care if it's not entirely truthful, in fact I admire it for not being fact-bound. The only bad thing I can say about it, is that it's giving me serious hair-envy. Damn their flowing tresses.

The Devil's Beef Tub

2009-08-14T13:02:00.003+01:00

Isn't that the best name for a natural feature - The Devil's Beef Tub! Though I keep accidentally saying 'Devil's Bath Tub' which sort of sounds quite comforting. Anyway, spent yesterday on the shoot of Short 1, up in the amazing hills of Dumfries & Galloway at the aforementioned Tub. High, green, marshy and glorious - I was up there for 9 hours straight and did I remember suncream? Did I heck - I'm a film-maker - I'm hardy. Ooops. Have a face like a skelped tomato this morning - own fault!

Got a bit lost heading down - somehow ended spending a lot of stressful time in Bonnyrigg - but made it in the end. The 'Tub' is a natural feature and stunning, see pic above (own pics to follow). The drive down was pretty glorious too on the A701 (I think) - I can recommend it at the moment, all rolling green and gold with feather pink willow-herb all over the place. And it was sunny (BURN), without a spot of rain.

ANYWAY, (saw a swan and a buzzard on the way down - not together though) they were filming the outdoor sports scenes of the film with paragliders along with the 2 main actors. I have been to a couple sets before but there really is something wonderful about actors delivering your OWN WORDS, and making them come alive - gave me goosebumps - watching people construct something you made up in in your own head - look, there's Alec's walking stick and it looks like you imagined... there's a guy swooping about in a paraglider with his shadow skimming over the hill JUST LIKE YOU IMAGINED - slightly surreal. And there were lots of little things which just naturally changed - and all for the better far as I could see. I did my fair share of mucking in, which I was also thrilled about, as I wanted to be as little nuisance as possible, so it was rather nice to be carting bags and blankets over bouncy spagnum moss, up hills, squishing into wet little burns and getting soggy like everyone else. We also all got bitten raw by midgies and clegs, but persevered (note to self, if ever in boggy moss country again, take head-net-thing like the 1 wise paraglider who had one).

Was invited down by the Director to watch a few things through the monitor, which was EXCITING and felt very privileged. Also got to meet the actors, and most of the crew, who were beyond lovely, especially in the face of sun/midgies/clegs/very steep slopes. Quite a few people made a point of saying to me how much they liked the script, and I had to fight the urge to hug EVERYONE because I felt kind of honoured that they're all wanting to work on it.

I was nervous about going, even more so after Bonnyrigg tried to trap me, but I'm glad I did - it felt like I was really part of SOMETHING exciting. Something that had become bigger than the ideas out of my head and that was GLORIOUS. I want to do more. I have always, and always will, write, but this was different - if film-making is a bug, then I've caught it, good and proper.

a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal

2009-08-10T12:25:00.004+01:00

Things have been busy here, and are going to get busier - is this a good thing? Quite probably.

The script was locked for Short 1 last week (except for some minor tweaks which may come out during rehearsals) - one of the happiest and proudest days for me - finally real - job done! Went into Edinburgh to my first crew meeting yesterday - great to see REAL people who are going to bring everything to life. Rehearsals today in Peebles, and then the shoot starts properly tomorrow. Everything seems to be in place, the Director and Producer are happy, and people seem genuinely pleased about the script, so that's a joy and a relief. More than a couple grown men on the crew have confessed to a few tears when reading it - so it looks like the tone is working as intended - touching but not depressing!

Cast are all in place, and will give details next blog once have checked it's ok to be blabbing about such stuff - I'm a newbie when it comes to 'live' projects so don't want to bugger anything up. Am particularly excited about our lead actor - his first film role was in 'Get Carter' with Michael Caine - and he's exactly as I pictured the main character.

I'm going to be an observer on set, and am oddly nervous but excited - don't want to get under anyone's feet. We've been told to bring waterproofs and sturdy footwear as there's a bit of filming out in the wilds, up a hill with some outdoor sports-type people - should be fun. Fellow writers who've already had this experience have also suggested I take a good book as there is 'an awful lot of waiting about'. Bring it on!

Short 2 is shooting middle of September, so am currently tweaking a draft for that. Have learnt a lot during the process of Short 1, so that should help this project. Again chuffed to have lots of good people involved - one thing I learned during Short 1, is that I LOVE the collaborative process, and I'm much less precious about my work than I expected - which is a good thing.

In between finishing Short 1 and getting Short 2 ready, have just heard I got 1 of the 10 places on the BBC Scotland Radio Lab. Getting a radio drama broadcast is an ambition of mine, so was delighted when I heard. A few days in Edinburgh, then 2 days in Glasgow at BBC Scotland in September and October - can't wait - and I now know the book I shall be perusing in between the quiet moments on the set of Short 1 - 'Writing for Radio' - always good to be prepared. It's going to be a busy few months!

(BTW many other blogs and articles have done a beautiful job of this already, but RIP John Hughes, a man who helped form my love of films when I was growing up - I used to be able to quote most of The Breakfast Club, and Ferris Bueller (geek). RIP too to Blake Snyder, a man who created the concise and straightforward Beat Sheet I still often refer to when I write).

Whether you're a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess or a criminal, I hope your August is busy and productive.

Once upon a time...

2009-08-04T17:36:00.002+01:00

Once upon a time, in a house on a hill, there lived a man who longed to be free of a secret that only he held tight inside his heart.

He waited for his moment, waited and waited, until one ice-frosted, snow-covered day when his family surrounded him and the goose lay fat on the table, he took his chance and let it leave.

The secret went out into the world and spun and floundered and bit, until it settled in the ears of everyone that sat around the man’s table.

There it grew and festered and became something new.

Until a year from the day, it returned and as another goose lay fat on the table, it revealed itself.

And the man’s world changed forever.

But not in the way he expected it to.

Secrets of the heart never do.

Summer in a bowl

2009-07-30T16:53:00.002+01:00

Last of this year's raspberry crop picked just before the rain.

Now it's pi**ing down - c'est la vie.

Misc.

2009-07-25T15:03:00.004+01:00

Hello to my visitor from Great Neck in the USA - best town name ever.

I'm on the final hurdle of the script for Short 2 (which in shooting terms is now Short 1 but nevermind). Need to settle on a title asap, but for the very first time it's proving elusive. What helps you find a title when you're writing? Does it just 'come' to you in a flash of inspiration or does whisky help it along?

Casting starts this week - it's all becoming real - eek and hurrah in equal measure.

I've just seen a Spitfire do the loop-de-loop from my window, it's part of a local airshow. Apparently there's going to be a Vulcan Bomber too - what's the betting that it won't be attempting any fancy schmancy maneouvres, but will just buzz by like an over-heavy giant bluebottle.

On another random point - ever thought you were having a heart attack only to discover an underwire had liberated itself from your bra and was poking you in the chest? No? What never?... uh... me neither (cough).

Gosh

2009-07-20T20:33:00.002+01:00

It's been a while - how the heck are you? Sorry about leaving the lid off the biscuit tin, they've all gone a bit soft, and as for the banana I forgot to throw away before the EIFF, well the least said the better!

The EIFF seems like a distant memory now - though I blearily recall seeing Sir Sean Connery doing a little jig to some drummers outside Cineworld, Claire Danes failing to smile AT ALL, Brenda Blethyn being the nicest person in the Universe and the CELEBRITY I MOST WANTED TO HUG (but didn't), some guy pretending to be a porn actor WHOM I BELIEVED and then had the most excrutiatingly embarrassing conversation with, Sam Mendes winning NICEST BEARD, Roger Corman being fascinating and entertaining, Robin Wright-Penn SWEARING, and some other stuff involving security guards not letting me in until I gave them a review of the film the party was for (I must have THAT kind of face), films, free beer and someone setting a bin on fire - yeehaw. Best one so far - bring on 2010.

In normal life, Short 1 starts shooting in just over 2 weeks (location changes have meant a rewrite but I can do it without exploding or hiding under the bed, yes I can), and Short 2 shoots in around 6 weeks.

Have a couple other little things which are all at very early stages, so will work on them once scripts are locked for the shorts. Have a feature to write too to finish the Uni course - looking forward to that when I get a chance.

2009 has whizzed by like a rat up a drainpipe - wasn't it just February a second ago?

Brenda Blethyn has a diploma in......

2009-06-23T23:13:00.001+01:00

..... unarmed combat (I kid you not) : Brenda Blethyn @ Q&A, EIFF

She also caught a dive-bombing wasp between her eyelashes when filming 'Pride and Prejudice' - don't mess with the Blethyn!

'Geez, that Tom Hanks runs...'

2009-06-19T10:46:00.003+01:00

'... like a f**king duck' : Sam Mendes (quoting Conrad L. Hal (cinematographer) from the set of 'Road to Perdition') @ Q&A, EIFF

What's it like kissing Keanu Reeves....

2009-06-19T09:19:00.001+01:00

'F**king great' : Robin Wright-Penn @ Q&A after 'The Private Lives of Pippa Lee', EIFF.

If you're scared, hide in the toilets

2009-06-10T10:12:00.007+01:00

I was explaining to my 4 yr old niece that I was going to see 'Star Trek' last night, a film about spaceships, aliens (probably bad ones) and rockets. Apparently this is what she told her parents when she got home:

- I’ve never been to the cinema before

- yes, I could eat sweets at the cinema but ONLY after I’ve finished my popcorn.

- if I'm scared, I can hide in the toilets

- I was seeing a film about aliens... which she’d already seen (she hadn't, neener).

The film was really entertaining, it did indeed have aliens in it, I did eat sweets but no popcorn (the smell makes me feel a bit sick), thankfully I didn't have to hide in the toilets but I did jump a number of times due to a surprise monster or 2, I have actually been to the cinema before, and I thoroughly recommend Star Trek - though please sequel-makers, give the female cast something decent to do ( there were flashes of it from particularly Uhura, but she was wasted) rather than just looking good in their underwear or mini-skirts (cellulite doesn't exist in space - fact). Few minor quibbles, but in general - even better than expected, and Captain Kirk, Scotty and Spock didn't disappoint - I thought they might, as I'm a fan of both the TV and film versions (and some of the offshoots). Awww, which reminds me how much I loved Jeff Hunter in his brief time as Pike at the start of the franchise.

BTW is it REALLY true that R2-D2 can be seen in one shot of the new version? I almost want to go back and see, although I definitely noticed a few scenes that seemed like affectionate homages to Star Wars, or was I imagining it?

ice Age 3 (now there's a title I never thought I'd write)

2009-05-28T13:39:00.004+01:00

As detailed in previous post, lots of great stuff to look forward to at the Edinburgh International Film festival, but oddly thrilled today to find out that Ice Age 3:Dawn of the Dinosaurs has been added to the list - AND Simon Pegg is doing one of the voices. I know, I know, it probably won't be as good as the 1st, but Dennis Leary's world-weary, sabre-toothed cat is surely worth donning a pair of 3D glasses for, no?

Did you know that if you kill a beetle (sacrifice it) on the Isle of Man, you will bring rain - me neither - carry on.

Ear-gate, William H. Macy and Crochet

2009-05-23T19:24:00.004+01:00

Blimey it's been a bit of a month as they say.

After the ear spectacularly exploded, I was left entirely deaf (I only have hearing in 1 ear normally), and it's been an odd couple of weeks as my eardrum slowly knitted itself back together (I'm not entirely sure 'knitted' is correct, I'm not up on what eardrums do to fix themselves - maybe they crochet?). I've got a decent amount of hearing back now which is a JOY. I've always had a bit of a fear of losing what hearing I have, and then, voila, it came to pass. Once the horrible ear emissions passed (the only advice you're given is to take painkillers and sleep on a towel so 'the pus and blood can drain out' - nice), and then the vertigo and weird dizziness passed, the scariest thing was nightfall - it was positively claustrophobic with all that soundless black. In fact it was so un-nerving that I had to eventually give in and have some form of low light on whilst I slept - the solid black (and I'm usually someone who needs almost total darkness to sleep) was just too much - bit like having a muffler pressed across your face EEK. Shops were impossible too, though Lidl wasn't too bad as no-one speaks to you there anyway - which I quite like.

Anyway ear on the mend so it seems, there was the start of the final assignments for Uni - I'm on the last one now but it's been a struggle what with Ear-gate and everything, BUT, and it's not something I expected - being deaf had its uses - I was so bored, and unable to hear tv or music, couldn't chat on the phone, or meet friends, or sit in a cafe that all I could do was complain a lot, read and write (btw I'm not saying deaf people don't do all of those things, but I imagine it takes time to adjust to doing them).

Final hand-in on Monday, and then I need to get on with rewrites of both shorts to be made this summer - one shooting August, one in September. Desperate to get on with these as have lots of ideas, but have made myself stay away until hand-ins are done.

Then it's a couple days break in June, and a chance to catch-up with earning some money doing something boring but necessary, THEN (tada!) it's the Edinburgh International Film Festival from mid-June. Really looking forward to this, as have delegate pass so will endeavour to see as much as I possibly can. Highlights look like being Lord Puttnam, Seamus McGarvey, documentary about Jack Cardiff (one of my heroes), Short Filmmakers Toolkit, Directors Lab sessions (which I believe Potdoll is participating in), Bill Forsyth, Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal, Sam Mendes William H. Macy, Ian Hart, and more, more, more! Can't wait.

If you're going, let's have lunch darling!

Things

2009-05-08T18:47:00.002+01:00

I don't have swine flu!

I do have an ear infection though which has led to a perforated eardrum - and you know what, it is THE most painful thing I have ever had. It's worse than broken bones or anything else I can think of. I have absolute sympathy now for babies who apparently get ear hassle quite frequently. I too, wish to be screaming blue murder, whilst pleading for a comforting rusk and a cuddle and LOTS and LOTS of drugs NOW. Then there's the 'stuff', you know, the 'stuff' that floods out your ear all the time EW, AND then there's the fact I can't hear properly, and occasionally get a sort of explosion in my ear like I've been shot - all very unpleasant. Any tips welcome on reducing the hideousness.

Congrats to Marg's team for finishing the Hike and Bike and raising over their magnificent target of £1200 for Maggies - well done girls!

Are We There Yet?

2009-04-13T21:29:00.006+01:00

My brave friend, Fiona (along with fellow trainees Margherita and Colette) is currently training to Hike and Bike the Great Glen Way from Fort William to Drumnadrochit (22 mile Hike and 30 mile Bike) on 2nd May 2009 - are they mad? Quite possibly.

It's been tough - they've had to contend with broken gears, random quality pastries for energy, loose chains, and all manner of fiascos, but they're persevering.... mainly because the ride is for the Maggie's Centres charity which helps people adjust to living with cancer. Its pioneering support programme has been developed for patients, their carers, family and friends. Each centre is located close to an NHS hospital and they have been designed carefully and imaginatively to make sure people feel at home. It's a truly worthwhile charity that makes dealing with cancer a tiny bit more bearable, and sometimes that's all you need, just a tiny bit of something that isn't hell.

If you'd like to follow their progress (and the pastries) you can read Margherita's training blog here and if you'd like to support their sterling efforts, and help Maggies Centre then you can donate here, remember it doesn't have to be much - anything helps - really.

On an entirely unrelated note, although perhaps there is a tenuous link... as they're doing a LOT of exercise perhaps their KNEES will be aching.... Genuphobia is the fear of knees - KNEES! Staurophobia is the fear of crucifixes, Pteronophobia is the fear of fabric, and Philematophobia is the fear of kissing. Found these and many other amazing phobias whilst doing research - the mind boggles - how exactly do you avoid fabric and/or knees in your every day life? FABRIC-COVERED KNEES must be BEYOND THE PALE!

Things

2009-03-27T12:55:00.004Z

Who am I again? I'm having one of those times when no matter how many hours you work in the day, you still have a HUGE list of IMPORTANT THINGS to get through. The only thing that makes this NOT TERRIBLE is that in general, they are GOOD THINGS.

Thing 1) The short now has a Director - hurrah! I've just had some Director's Notes (these are IMPORTANT and a bit exciting), and I am feeling a little like a hyperactive child about the ideas in them. Probably shooting in July but having a meeting next week to work out what happens next. Some cast discussions have been had and they quite frankly, make me want to scream with excitement, but I don't want to JINX THEM.

Thing 2) Have ended up writing another short for a Producer at short notice, but have toughed out a first draft script which is getting perused by the Production Board this weekend. Hopefully it will be greenlit in principle, and then I can take my time over some redrafts. I like it. It's a different sort of film than Thing 1, and that makes me want it to happen ALL THE MORE. It's not been easy with the quick turnaround but fingers crossed

Thing 3) I wrote a novel a while back, but did NOTHING with it. I've been gradually rewriting bits of it over the past few years, and then recently the opportunity came about for the first 3 chapters and synopsis to be read by an established novelist. Have just sent them in. Feel QUEASY.

Thing 4) As part of my course, next week I have to do an hour-long oral presentation on a film that inspires me. The first 2 presentations took place earlier this week, and they were GOOD. They were also FILMED on a BIG CAMERA with a proper MICROPHONE. That's terrifying - I hate getting my picture taken at the best of times nevermind being filmed MOVING. Feeling REALLY QUEASY now. Need to get this all typed up, and my clips sorted.

Thing 5) Have to draw up a shortlist of mentors. This is good, exciting and potentially very helpful to me, but what makes a good mentor? What if I pick the WRONG ONE? What if I pick the one who is a great writer BUT ONLY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT GOLF when we're having a meeting? What if I pick the talented but psycho one with the TOO LONG FINGERNAILS? I suspect I am THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH.

Inspiration

2009-03-01T14:56:00.002Z

Have you ever started writing something and you're entirely unclear where you're going with it but SOMETHING is driving you forward (and I don't mean gin or chocolate)? AND that something just feels like it would need Superman and a train to stop it? I'm going to pretend that it is Superman ON a train, though I actually think it is INSPIRATION. Funny though, how can it be inspiration when no matter how you try, you can't figure out what you're writing or what it is you're trying to say but you know it's SOMETHING so you just keep on going. Inspiration can be a sneaky little blighter.

Maybe what I'm writing is a bunch of rubbish but inspiration drives me forward regardless - and it's not unpleasant - so I keep on going. I'm writing about love and desire even though I've just been to Tescos, and popped along to my Gran's because her carbon monoxide alarm was going off cos the battery was going dead, and put the washing on, and wiped bird-crap off my car, and hung out said washing which is now being hailed on from the great sky above, and will shortly be cleaning out the bin - none of these things make me feel lovely or desirous AT ALL, but still, something drives my brain and fingers forward, and out creeps words and stuff on that very theme.

What's driving your writing brain forward these days?

Infinity and beyond...

2009-02-26T10:38:00.002Z

You might remember that I mentioned Neil Platt and his blog about his and his family's experiences with Motor Neurone Disease before. It's a fascinating, moving, sometimes heart-breaking and rather witty account of someone dealing with MND.

Neil talked about the stuff that a lot of us don't want to, or can't... in fact he started his blog to raise awareness of MND and the fight to find a cure. He certainly accomplished that, and then some.

I'll leave the last word to him (he said it better than I ever could), in a quote I have borrowed from his last ever post on the blog, "the thing about the blog is that it seems to have made many people, previously untouched and unaware of the disease, take stock of their own lives in order to grasp every opportunity that lands in their lap (if there is an opportunity that lands in someone else’s lap then go see if they’ll do you a swap) Just don’t miss any."

Go on, get that 'thing' done, you know the one.... that one you've been avoiding, the one you've been pretending doesn't really matter. or can wait a while longer. Maybe it can't.

At the front

2009-02-22T11:47:00.001Z

On the writing front, in the midst of another short which is a dark, sexy, part contemporary, part-Victorian love story with a twist. About to start work on an adapted screenplay from a scottish novel I love, and am wading through a proper first draft of a feature I started last year - it has potential but the tone is all over the place.

The short I'm making, has had the pre-greenlight regarding script, so now just to get a good team together and get it made... yeah 'just'... exciting though!

The Victorian comes from this place:

Perhaps there will be a thunderbolt of calling,
a something impressive that can’t be denied,
because if it isn’t so then it may just quietly slip disappeared into the background where we let it die until we’re breathing our last and we once again wish to recall the fury and burst of that feeling,
that impressive flash of hot and woozy sense, that instant radiating trumpet-call,
that messy disorganised throbbing and beating,
that love, that lust, the undisciplised, uncontrollable thrust from deep down hidden right there beneath the veneer of respectability that coats us,
but chip it away and we’re all seeking that warm, wet place of corruption and satisfaction.
We are meant to be joined, so they say, but gingerly and in an ordered fashion.
My body doesn’t work that way, it’s not programmed to listen to the confines you utter.
It’s following the beat of a heart and the pull of your blood-noise.
It will follow as long as your nerves crack and skin glows.
I will follow and see you out until the last breath.
You are corruptible.
I am unstoppable.

What a Feeling : Robert Webb does Flashdance

2009-02-22T11:20:00.004Z

This is oh so wrong, but yet oh so right - funnier than it has a right to be. I bow to you Robert Webb. He has fantastic legs!

Snow!

2009-02-02T12:23:00.001Z

Space, the final frontier

2009-01-29T19:19:00.003Z

Did you know that at the moment on a clear night you can see the International Space Station streaking across the sky? I geekily found this really exciting, but doubted I'd manage to spot it, but I just did! If you go here to the Johnson Space Center facility then click on your area, and then on to your nearest city, you'll get a list of times and positions when it should be visible overhead. You can also use the NASA skywatch for more accuracy.

When you're spotting, remember it moves across the sky which makes it a little easier to distinguish from a star or planet.

It orbits at an altitude of approximately 350 km (190 nautical miles) above the surface of the Earth and it's travelling at an average speed of 27,700 kilometres (17,210 m) per hour.

Nothing like being reminded that we're a spinning planet in space.

Wonder Year Meme

2009-01-29T15:38:00.002Z

Been memed by Laura here to decide that if you could go back to live in any one year from your lifetime, which one would you choose?

Hmm I've been mulling this one - and mulling, and mulling some more. Difficult one. My instinct is to choose 2008. It was the first year that I felt like I truly knew what I wanted to write. I've always written, right since tiny - I can even remember sitting on the living room floor pre-school, and being SO proud that I'd managed to write my whole name out for the first time. Anyway 2008, I transferred from the MA to the MFA at the Screen Academy, and began the course terrified and worried that I didn't know what I was doing. And then, I just sort of suddenly realised I did know. There were stories I needed to write on the course, that would become screenplays, so I started writing. And they happened. And it didn't hurt. 2008 was also the year that certain friendships solidified, certain fears disappeared, and things just sort of felt right. They still do - thanks 2008!

Roll on 2009 - I hope it (and yours) is even better.

Life

2009-01-23T17:31:00.005Z

Writing is a funny thing - we document our lives and our experiences, our emotions and sadnesses, sometimes our desires and sometimes even the fact we've cut our fringe or bought a new mug or made something good for tea. I've been writing a lot recently and it feels good to be doing so. I've also recently been feeling a bit sorry for myself what with a stonking asthma attack during 'Australia'* (Hugh Jackman I hold you responsible for inflaming my innards so much with your overtly manly showering in the sweaty outback) but am now recovering with lots of steroids and some rest. I haven't taken to my bed or gone all Jane Austen, but just been feeling a bit dismal, tired and tense as my lungs get back to normal. Thing is though, and forgive me for stating the obvious, my lungs will, get back to normal that is - it's taken me 4 years since I had anything similar - that one was due to me holidaying in Brighton in a house with 2 strange dogs and assuming that the wheeziness would go away. It didn't so I ended up in hospital. This time, I didn't bother to have a chest infection checked out after 3 weeks of coughing my head off - my own stupid fault - so fast forward to the cinema where I corpsed at the first sight of a damp Jackman bicep, couldn't breathe, got a bit scared and ended up at the GP.

So what's the point of that tale? To flag up how lucky I am. To flag up how sometimes you get caught up in the minutaie of life and forget to remember what other people are dealing with - without a choice. To flag up how little I know about some things, like Motor Neurone Disease, and the web-site of an amazing man, Neil, and his family who are bravely documenting his experiences with such a unremitting disease. I'm sure he'd hate to be described as 'brave' but he is. I'm sure he didn't intend to make total strangers feel empathy for him, but he has. I wasn't having a resolution for 2009 on principle, but I have one now, a passionate one at that - be grateful for what you have, and who you have around you, and try not to, for one second of the year, to disregard or fail to embrace any tiny bit of joy that sneaks up. Enjoy your life, breathe your deepest while you can and never, ever tell me that you don't think you matter - because I'll hit you with whatever is to hand. If you want to learn more about MND, donate or just read about the experiences of Neil and his family, go here.

* I will be revisiting this film just for that very scene, once well.

2009-01-12T18:02:00.003Z

THAT is what I get for being all chirpy-like in my last post. I'm now waiting in for a plumber, and just heard I didn't get into the Athena Lab - can't say it's much of a shock as I knew the application was a bit last-minute - but the plumber, damn, he was unexpected.

2009

2009-01-11T12:34:00.004Z

Happy New Year!

I celebrated with fiery Jamaican root ginger beer, and an early night - rock'n'roll! Actually I was working, but in principle I LOVE Christmas, but just don't like New Year very much - but I do LOVE the idea that a hopeful, clean slate of a year stretches out ahead. Mind you, if I think back to the worst new year I had, it was stuck in a farmhouse with a bunch of ruddy-faced people I disliked, being made to drink too much and push the sofas back so we could 'have a dance' and THEN having to do the kissy thing with aforementioned unlikeables. It was like 'League of Gentleman' without.... actually it was just like 'L of G' full-stop. Never again - not without a tazer anyway.

No resolutions this year - in a positive way. I know what I'm doing, and I'm ready to embrace change - bring it on! As a radioactive Mr Burns once said, "I wish you love".

I've just uploaded pics I took over the festive season, and this was one of them - either I have successfully taken a pic of aliens, or.... well who knows... I'm ready for change... but maybe not aliens just yet... not without a tazer (just in case).

Screen Lab / Adrian Mead

2008-12-26T21:06:00.004Z

Hope you all had a great Christmas. Here's a screenwriter-y opportunity for the New Year, which I can thoroughly vouch for as I got a place on the inaugural lab back in 2007 - and very enlightening it was too. You can read more about my experience here. Here's the info :

Are you currently writing short stories, novels or plays, and have you ever wondered what it takes to write for Film and TV? After the success of last year's course, Scottish Book Trust is pleased to announce the launch of Screen Lab 2009. Screen Lab will show you exactly what it takes to break into one of the most competitive and lucrative areas of writing.

Screen Lab will be led by award winning writer and director Adrian Mead. Over a packed three days Adrian will take you through the realities of the script development process and the strategy you need to adopt in order to break into the industry.
Find out more about Adrian and read reviews of his book ‘Making it as a Screenwriter' at http://www.meadkerr.com/

Times: 9.30- 5.00
Dates: Friday 20th February, Saturday 21st February and Sunday 22nd February
Venue Scottish Book Trust Edinburgh

Application Criteria: Screen Lab is open to writers at all stages of their career. Applicants who have not followed the application guidelines will not be considered. Successful applicants must commit to attending the entire Screen Lab.

Application deadline: Monday 2nd February 2009.

See more details about how to apply at http://www.scottishbooktrust.com/node/3760

Wishing and hoping

2008-12-23T17:26:00.005Z

Merry Christmas wishes - may you all have a wonderful day! I hope you enjoy the good bits, quietly forget the awkward bits, and indulge in some good, old-fashioned peace, love and joy (and hopefully scalextrix).

'aving it

2008-12-18T20:21:00.004Z

Mark Lanegan and Isobel Campbell were rather wonderful the other night. It's an odd pairing - she's ethereal, nervy looking and projects girlish with her assorted instruments, while he sings dark and grumbling from a deliberately unlit position on stage. They work though - each distinctive voice setting the other off - and with a strange but impressive sexual tension - the songs that is, I'm not implying any shenanigans. Though talking about such things, I heard the best line EVER from the bloke crammed in front of me who came out with : 'you can have it later if you want it' - what made it worse was that I suspect he was telling it to his actual girlfriend rather than a random stranger. Charm obviously survives a-plenty. Anyway, great gig, sweet and salty - I'd like more please, soon.

I've applied for the Athena Screenwriters thing for laydeeeees - which will right now probably jinx it, but I'm on a roll now, my car passed its MOT hurrah.

Hey you, yes you...... (whisper) YOU can 'ave it later... yes really.

Mark Lanegan

2008-12-13T12:03:00.005Z

I have tickets for Mark Lanegan and Isobel Campbell.

I'm busy - I haven't been blogging - shame on me BUT did I tell you that I have tickets for MARK LANEGAN! He's a singer I adore, even though if you told him face-to-face that you adored him, I suspect he might just spit in your eye. That just makes me like him more in a twisted kind of way.

He's playing Edinburgh on Sunday with Isobel Campbell mainly to promote 'Sunday At Devil Dirt', their new release, and you SHOULD all get tickets if you're in the area - it will be like drinking sugary gravel with a big dirty chaser I'm sure - can't wait!

Here's another of his projects, 'Soulsavers' :

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deep and crisp and even

2008-11-23T10:06:00.003Z

Ok not deep at all, not very crisp and certainly not even but... overnight it SNOWED!!! My digital camera has died but as soon as I can borrow one, I'll have proof, although what crunchy white stuff there is, has started to melt away now the sun has come out.

Is it snowing where you are?

(pic added)

Wishing

2008-11-16T14:05:00.006Z

(an original promo poster for 'Black Narcissus' from foreign lands, featuring Jean Simmons as Kanchi)

Popped along to the Filmhouse on Thursday to celebrate the MA graduating class of the Screen Academy, and in particular the Screenwriters. Was lovely to see everyone suited and booted, and swishing about proud of their scrolls. It was quite moving talking to people as they looked forward to adventures still to come - I had wondered if it might be a little maudlin, but thankfully it seemed hopeful and sort of shiny. Wonder what it will feel like when I'm in the same position (fingers crossed) next year - I hope to be of a positive frame of mind, and looking forward.

On another note, I've put it off for years so as not to spoil the experience, but am finally reading the novel version of 'Black Narcissus' by Rumer Godden, probably my most favourite film ever. It's so far not disappointing, and is surprisingly similar to the film, yet I'm picturing the characters entirely differently, but not in a ruinous way - it's just... different. I'm enjoying it. I suppose part of me wondered if it would dull my experience of the film or change it in some way, but not at all. I think by now, just about every image and word from the film is imprinted on me - I've seen it so many times, and it never gets old. I'm still surprised how few people I meet have seen it - and of those who have, how few love it passionately. I've met 1 person so far who calls it a 'favourite' - there must be more!

The film's title comes from the name of a scent that one of the characters wears. A part of me wishes that you could actually buy perfume called 'Black Narcissus' as it sounds so gorgeous, exotic, and evokes mysticism and forever. Which is strange, as it's a film ostensibly about nuns struggling in a difficult environment but of course is about a lot more than that... and I won't spoil it for you by writing details. Go and watch it - it might just make you wish for something you didn't know you wanted.

Time after time

2008-11-13T14:00:00.007Z

Reflecting today, and looking over what I need to get finished writing-wise over the next few weeks before Santa thuds down the chimney. October was spent pretty-much getting into the jist of my new course at the Screen Academy. I've gone from 1 day a week to now 3 days, and whilst I'm loving it, it's a LOT more work. Sure things will settle in soon though as I get used to the new regime.

We have a budget for the production of a short film as part of the course, so I'm already starting to work out how far it's going to stretch. We have good quality camera, sound, lighting and post-production equipment available from the Uni, so the budget will stretch that much further. The first draft's done and seems to be getting there - few issues resolved, a few redrafts, and a bit of work on the beginning, and I think it's on its way. I have to pitch it to a panel in early December, hopefully with my Producer, to actually get hold of the budget, but hopefully that will be more of a rubber-stamp as long as we've done all the preparatory work. The finished short will almost certainly be screened at a showcase next year, so no pressure there then - eek - but it IS exciting! Next step after redraft - confirm Producer, discuss Directors (have a few ideas and had a few approaches), and start scheduling/budget. Work-shopped that script last week, and it got largely positive responses. Learnt one valuable lesson - NEVER wave your hands around too much when discussing a sex scene, you're just asking for trouble (note to self - sit on hands next time).

Construct an entertaining (!) 10-15 minute pitch for an event in November.

Work up a treatment for a short, possibly for a TV thing involving other writers.

Redraft my drama/thriller feature for an interested party.

Also need to finish and redraft an experimental short horror I'm writing, which is entirely without dialogue. Seems to be working, but need to get through to the end and then start rejigging it about before I have to discuss it critically at my next presentation, again in December.

Have to come up with some ideas for a short placement that will benefit me, to happen in 2009 - thinking of getting some insight into script development/reading/editing - have to allocate some decent time for looking into this.

Need to confirm some interviews I've lined up for a case study - I'm hoping to talk to a range of working screenwriters. Have so far had a 'yes' from a couple, and need to put aside a block of time to do this properly. Last thing I want to do is waste the time of busy people who are doing me a favour! Anyone out there in blog-land who wouldn't mind being quizzed about their intimate (screenwriting) details, please let me know.

Plan to put together a short theatre piece around 4 mins for a performance opportunity in December. Need to get that tied up in 2 weeks. Am thinking a 2-hander with minimum props or stage direction.

Need to make a living - ah that old chestnut.....

And of course. Sleep. Eat. That kind of stuff.

My MA class graduate today - I feel a little pang that I'm not there with them - but hopefully next year, it'll be me getting a terrible photograph taken as I clutch a scroll. Hope you all have a blast! xx

Days Like This

2008-11-01T16:56:00.004Z

At the last moment, on the last day (today), I submitted this to 'Days Like This' at The Scottish Book Trust. I wasn't going to put anything in, then I read this post which inspired me to write about something that matters. So I did. Thanks Potdoll :

We went for a walk along the shores of the Firth of Forth, my Dad and I. Just like we had done since I was a toddler, when I was struggling to match his stride. Except by 1988 I was grown, and could keep up with him just fine as he strode along, stumbling over lava remains from the volcanic past, fossils and strings of mossy green seaweed. Autumn had windblown all the trees in the estate, which scattered yellow leaves into the sea. They dipped and swam in the grey like golden fish. My Dad smoked his pipe. I loved that smell. It reminded me of holidays when he’d blow mouthfuls of smoke through my hair to free it of midges as we marched up some godforsaken hill, ‘just for the exercise’.

On that day he was helping me collect bags of interesting flotsam and jetsam for an art project, everything from sea-urchins, to knots of driftwood, animal bones and sea-rusted nets encrusted with barnacles. We even found a seagull lying on a bed of coal with its wings smashed out looking like a fallen angel. I didn’t take that home. It looked like it was meant to stay there.

On the way back to the house, we passed cherry trees snapped in two by vandals. Each one neatly cleaved and pathetic. Same place they found a rabbit hanging from a goal post a year before.

Finally at home, I lit a camping stove to boil everything clean of the sea-smell and sand. It was the same stove that had bubbled sausages and spitting eggs below various godforsaken hills for years. I stuffed everything from the plastic bags into an old enamel pot, and poked them as they boiled, with a spoon, to stop them sticking. The water in the bucket beside me froze into solid ice. I smashed it with a horseshoe (it keeps the devil out).

Inside, the thin metal roof of the garage was hung with drawings, half-made constructions, bones, dried flowers, bits of wood and piping. The floor was thick concrete slabs pitted and bruised from the old wooden garage that had stood there before, spattered with paint from my Dad’s canvases. My Grandfather’s drills and hammers hung at the back along with labels from his old motorbike shop. I always wanted a Norton. It was raining just a little. The stove kept its flame.

Once cleaned and cooled, one piece stood out, a smooth, rounded fist-sized piece of bone. I remember thinking it was probably from a sheep, a lost lamb tottered over the cliff or an elderly specimen given up the ghost as it trailed its way home across the sea-grass. My Dad thought differently. He took it to school later that day, to show to his fellow teachers. They identified it as part of a human skull.

I had to hand it into the Police, and fill out a form. They looked at me like I was a bit odd as I gave them my little plastic bag with part of a stranger’s head in it, and explained how come it had been boiled.

That day sticks to me like honey but not because of the gruesome find. It sticks because it was an adventure with the man that helped make and grow me.

I wish I’d known at the time how finite those days were. They run out eventually. Mine ran out far too soon. I miss him.

Stars Make Noise

2008-10-25T15:24:00.002+01:00

Here's one of those things that shouldn't really be that surprising, and yet, it fascinates, a brilliant little piece from BBC News on how stars make noise. Scientists have recorded the sound of three stars similar to our Sun using France's Corot space telescope. Interesting article here.

You can click on various links on the page to hear a real star pulsating. I like to think of them as giant cosmic crickets up there in the sky, clicking away to each other.

s.e.x.

2008-10-22T11:40:00.004+01:00

I've touched (oo-er) on this before in a previous post, but I'm back to redrafting the feature written over the summer which is ostensibly a comedy with a romantic element and a lot (hopefully) of black humour... and it's also the project that features some rather rude and somewhat earthy elements. This makes me a little nervous, especially as the few who have given me feedback so far have commented that it's "sex-mad", a "bit French", and more recently regarding a certain scene, "a bit shocking". Regardless of the actual quality of the script... what is it about writing about s.e.x. that makes people uncomfortable? And I do mean writing about it.... because I know lots of very openminded and frankly rather filthy people who have no boundaries regarding what can be discussed in conversation, but balk at writing about such things. In fact, I know that at least one classmate from the past year took out a sex scene from her script because she didn't want her tutor to read it, and she's not alone in my experience - embarrassment about the subject matter or worry that it'll reveal something hitherto hidden?

It is strange, because I've read scripts about incest, all kinds of human and animal abuse, torture, violence, horror, sadism, war crime, psychological terror, all kinds of difficult subject matter... and there are TONS more of those than anything that deals with the very thing that is said to genetically drive us. Though I have read a lot of scripts that contain strippers, sex of a sort, but a very particular sort... and may I just say in script-form they're nearly always gorgeous with a heart of gold, or being abused, which considering the few I've met in real life isn't always the case.

If I read a script about a child being harmed, I don't automatically assume the writer has had similar experiences, so why worry about something from the opposite and rather saucy end of the spectrum? Perhaps anything writerly... in black and white... that touches on s.e.x. is just always going to be a little sticky...

Interesting events

2008-10-11T16:19:00.006+01:00

Interesting event 0.5 : Fellow writer, Laura had a birthday party from heaven - she rented a screening room and showed 'Back to the Future'! Was great fun, and I'd forgotten so many of the images and in-jokes from that film, ahhh nostalgia. Kudos to everyone who dressed up in an 80's (and 50's) stylee, and birthday wishes for Laura, may you have many fruitful years of happy writing to come.

Interesting event 1 : The start of the week saw me beginning my Advanced Film Practice course at the Screen Academy with 7 other keen souls, who break down as 2 other writers, 4 producers and 1 director. Lots of work ahead, but though feeling a little daunted, it also feels like a great opportunity is unfolding. Some funding is available for production, later on in the course. I've settled (for now) on drafting a warm-hearted short, but have suddenly realised I may want to make a trilogy which could stretch across a couple of genres. Need to work that one out and see if it's possible. I'm also planning a series of 6 learning objectives, small exercises that will allow me to experiment and explore areas I'm interested in. I'm feeling a bit vague about the whole thing, but expect that's usual at this early stage... it is isn't it..... come on, you know you feel it too... don't you?

Interesting event 2 : Attended a meeting of the "Screenwriters, EH" group in a pub in Edinburgh to hear my mate Ronnie detailing his BBC Sharps experience. Great fun it was too, and met lots of keen, interesting scribes. If you're a writer or film-maker in the area and interested in the next meeting, let me know and I'll send you some details : great little pub, nice people and a film-y atmosphere - what's not to like!

Interesting event 3 : After said meeting and a few drinks, I headed off to stay at a friend's flat to avoid having to drive home. Needless to stay we ended up gossiping for hours, and then realised we probably hadn't a hope in hell of getting up in time to avoid the Traffic nazis in the morning, so at 3am-ish we decided to head out and move cars to a non-nazi area a few mins walk away. All fine so far, but as we drove through rainy streets, we reached some roadworks where a phantom loomed out of a side-road and flagged down the car. Tall, pale and crying, it turned out to be a distressed elderly man, with bandaged feet and no shoes. He appeared to be Polish and kept asking for the 'hospit-ale'. I automatically assumed the worst, and figured he was probably a drunk, but my hardy friend was made of sterner stuff, and since we were a small convoy of 2, invited him into her car and we agreed to take him to the Police Station (don't try this at home - it's not usually considered wise to pick-up odd men in your vehicle). Couldn't find the Police station, or get through to NHS Direct for the nearest A&E details, but then a taxi driver saved us and led our convoy (now 3 cars long) up to the Police at Fettes where we deposited him. We also managed to contravene station policy by parking in the Director's parking space and that of the Chief Constable - living on the edge! The guy at reception seemed quite thrilled to see us - things did look very quiet. He ordered an ambulance for the old bloke and sent him off to get checked over. Hope he found wherever he was meant to be. We got 4 hours sleep, and never has a bacon butty in the morning tasted so good.

Next month : I'm aiming to rescue a puppy without a collar, and bravely park in a permit-only space. Rock and roll!

Song meme

2008-09-30T15:26:00.002+01:00

Laura says : Find a song that sums up what you think it means to be a writer and post the lyrics on your blog and why you've chosen it.
NB: It doesn't have to be your favourite song, it just has to express how you feel about writing and/or being a writer. It can be literal, metaphorical, about a particular form or aspect of writing - whatever you want. Then tag 5 others to do the same (reprint these instructions).

Tougher than expected this one... but have settled on "Little Acorns" by White Stripes just because it reflects vaguely the confusing, up-in-the-air feeling I have when I start a project, a mix of excitement and nerves mixed with a tiny bit of fear. I also like the hair analogy.... no matter what you do to your hair... you can still never quite be sure what it'll look like in the morning... which is like writing. No matter how perfect your writing plan or outline, you've no idea what it's going to become.

Take all your problems
And rip 'em apart

Carry them off
In a shopping cart

And another thing
You should've known from the start
The problems in hand
Are lighter than at heart

Be like the squirrel, girl
Be like the squirrel
Give it a whirl, girl
Be like the squirrel

And another thing
You have to know in this world
Cut up your hair
Straighten your curls

Well, your problems
Hide in your curls

Let's not get carried away...

2008-09-26T09:22:00.003+01:00

Today is my last official day at the Screen Academy on the MA course!

Actually feels rather odd after nearly 4 months out in the wilderness of real life (ok it wasn't that bad, but you catch my drift). Since I'm also going to be re-matriculating in a week or so as a student for another year, it's also taken on a rather surreal quality. Some people have already cut the cord, and are not coming along today - fair enough - it's easier for some to just make the break quickly and cleanly and abandon all that has gone before. I'm all for proper closure though, so I'm going along, anyway it might be the last chance I get to see some of those faces I've got to know over the past 2 years (geez 2 years... where did THAT go?).

Perhaps it's a sign, but the house lights blew last night. End of an era maybe? Or just a power surge? Let's not get carried away.

A Blogday is not just for Christmas...

2008-09-19T22:13:00.005+01:00

Missed my own blog birthday! It was on the 15th September!

2 years and counting - who'd have thought it. Roll on the next 1...

I'm trying to decide what kind of short I want to make. It's more difficult than I thought it'd be.....

2008-09-10T18:51:00.004+01:00

I've found my 'Hattie Jacques'!!!!

On another note, I'm giving 'Lost in Austen' one more chance tonight to see if it gets any better. I'm not finding enough jeopardy in it to shove it along... but fingers crossed.

Did you know they're remaking Rentaghost and Worzel Gummidge? Why? Also saw the trailers for the coming 'Merlin'. I first heard this was coming to the screen back here, doesn't time fly. I'm sticking with my original statement that it "better be magnificent and brooding, and not some neddy lad in a fancy cape flouncing about the undergrowth with the Merry Men". It looks worryingly like my prediction may come true but let's hope not.

I'm so glad the world didn't end.

When a casualty is required

2008-09-09T17:10:00.003+01:00

Since it's raining AGAIN, I've been ploughing on with the draft of my feature. The one with the protagonist who needed a kick up the arse. But, I've been mulling things over in my head, and I've realised that it's not just that the protag. is too passive, but the plot lacks a true casualty. I'm not talking about the antagonist getting his comeuppance (as that's hopefully going to look like natural justice when it happens, so not strictly a casualty). I mean, like say in 'Calendar Girls' (if you're the one person living under a toadstool who hasn't seen it, the following contains a spoiler), when you ask someone what that film is about, they'll usually refer to the fun nudity for the calendar, the cakes, the WI, the friendships and the women. What they don't often mention, is the 'casualty' : in this case, the cancer diagnosis and subsequent death of the husband of one of the main characters.

I'm writing a light-hearted drama, but suddenly realised that it lacks depth. It lacks a 'casualty' - someone who, however peripheral, has to suffer or have their true desires rebuffed or snuffed out, to balance out the light-heartedness.

Even in the 'Carry-On' films, there's always a casualty. Hattie Jacques' characters leap to mind. She may be in control (as say, the matron), intelligent and respected, but her TRUE desire is to get it on with her true love - usually Kenneth Williams doing his 'ooh I knowwwwww' thing. There's a sort of pathos to her, an ache even, amidst the hilarity and double entendres, because she rarely gets what she wants. Characters and yes, performances, like hers give the froth depth - least it does in the better-quality Carry On's.

I need to find my Hattie Jacques.

I've also realised that quite unwittingly, there are 2 symbols that keep reappearing in the script - hands and roses. I have a feeling it's going to go a lot darker than I expected...

what does the night smell of?

2008-09-06T15:01:00.005+01:00

"It smells like night in here"

The source of the smell was a room-spray scented with nutmeg. I don't really like nutmeg, but why does it smell like the night? And it really does. I sniffed a nutmeg candle today and it made me think of pillows and sleep.

*Edit : just looked 'nutmeg' up and apparently it's famously used as a sedative. Nicholas Culpeper (1616) an English herbalist says it can "induce sleep delirium". It is also said to excite sexual passion and is one of the ingredients of a magical perfume described in the black books of sorcerers : intriguing!*

I've written a whole feature (nearly) and have only just realised why it's not working. There is no real sense of jeopardy, there's such a thing as a too passive protagonist, and in my case I have one - he needs a kick up the arse. Bummer. I've also realised that while there's a lot of passion in it, it's not about sex or desire... it's about loneliness. Woop.

Back to square -1 but with a little more hope and purpose than expected.

What do YOU think the night smells of?

Writing meme

2008-08-20T12:29:00.004+01:00

Been memed by Mr Andrew regarding the writing process.

I'm a bit of a splurger initially - I get an idea and make myself write a few notes down. I do this quite a lot, but it's only a few of those ideas which 'stick' and end up whizzing around my head whilst I'm getting on with everyday things. This is generally a GOOD SIGN, as it means that they have SOMETHING - as yet unexplored but something.

In the old undisciplined days, pre-MA, I would just start writing and writing and writing, and end up with an unwieldy mass of anything between 50-120 pages which was almost impossible to edit or structure. THEN I'd worry about trying to ascertain what kind of monster I'd created. NOW, I've learned to do a bit of a splurge initially to get the ideas and energy out on to paper (or screen), but then to pull back and work out a loose structure and plan for where I think it will go. This plan often changes, but at least gives me a way of working through my brain-stormings, to get something that's a hopeful first draft.

Something I have also learned, is that it is imperative you work out what way of working suits YOU. I've learned that if I try to over-structure something and plot it out minutely, I kill my writing stone dead - it takes all the momentum out, and leaves me feeling lethargic, and like I've nothing left to explore. So I have to try to hit a balance of part-splurge, part-plan.

THEN I spend days hopping about, cleaning the fridge and eating too many biscuits while I curse my protagonist and pretend I never wanted to be a writer anyway. Today is one of those days, except..... I have a part-plan so all is not lost!

I have 3 new ideas all of whom won't leave me alone - that's annoying because I HAVE to finish this project first! Damn you all!

Trouble Sleeping

2008-08-19T22:03:00.003+01:00

A friend and fellow classmate of mine, Lucy Kaya is one of the writers of 'Trouble Sleeping', a feature which was presented at this year's Edinburgh International Film Festival. It's now due to be screened on BBC 2 Scotland on 25th August at 10pm - hurrah! Set in Edinburgh, it's based on the real-life stories of asylum seekers, and is about a group of refugees doing what they need to do, just to survive. Directed by Robert Rae, and produced by Eddie Dick - it's the first feature from Edinburgh's Theatre Workshop – a company which collaborates with community groups, and addresses the issues that affect them. It was also awarded a BAFTA Scotland New Talent Award 2008 for best new work - fiction.....

Watch it if you can!

A little ultra-violence

2008-08-17T12:42:00.005+01:00

Friday saw my final workshop with Miss Read at Uni - practical, useful and well-organised, and quite good fun really - will miss them!

Afterwards, ended up seeing 'Wall-e' which just hadn't appealed to me, but oh how wrong I was. What a great little (and I use that in the complimentary sense as it was beautifully short) film. There were lots of small (under 5) children in the audience and other than toilet-breaks, all of them stayed the course of the film - that's pretty extraordinary in my experience. I could ramble on for pages about the things I liked but really, you should see it, even if you don't think it's your sort of film. Sure it's mainstream, but if I want to be purely entertained then it's mainstream I want, and it's delightfully spare, warm, sentimental, thoughtful, funny, deep and entertaining. And, it will leave you knowing that you've been manipulated, but with the knowledge that you actually, don't really mind about that. I dare you to watch it and not want to say 'Eveeeeeeeeeeee-a' out loud in a gooshy voice.

In almost direct opposition was my experience of 'The Dark Knight'. Messy, massively too violent for its 12A rating, and oddly and unexpectedly disappointing. The last 30 minutes seem to come from an entirely different film, many of the performances border on the pantomime, the plot is confusing (too many villains for starters), much of the dialogue is exposition-heavy and cheesy, Maggie Gyllenhaal is criminally underused and badly lit, and it's incredibly unsatisfying. Small things in such an expensive film rile me as they smack of carelessness - like one character's wiggling eyelid when he was supposed to be dead - DON'T THINK WE WON'T NOTICE. Even the violence which aims for gritty wince-ability, just becomes inappropriate very, very quickly - I frequently wanted to shout at the screen 'ok we GET IT, The Joker (Heath Ledger) is handy and a bit of a psycho with a knife so we don't need to see him keep squishing it into peoples faces'. Ledger's performance is malevolent and grounded in a place of mental illness and chaos, and he's probably the most entertaining thing in it, but it's Gary Oldman's acting chops which keep the film from flying off into laughability. I left knowing I'd been toyed with, and this time, I really didn't like it.

2008-08-13T11:09:00.007+01:00

Virgin has helpfully decided to break my email, so I can't view or send anything - haven't been able to since yesterday early evening. Called their 'helpful' contact number, and it has an annoyingly chirpy message that basically says it'll be fixed when it's fixed. At least I could reason with a human, but a recording gives NO satisfaction whatsoever. I had to go kick something in the garden instead - in between downpours. This rain is relentless, soon we will grow gills and giant fish heads (and potentially prominent bosoms by the looks of that poster) like in 'The City Under The Sea' (1965).

*Edited : having withdrawal as the email system is STILL NOT WORKING, so went outside to bash some concrete off a pole (there's a reason for this but I won't bore you). I now have gravel in my bra and a slug stuck to the bottom of my flip-flop, thank-you*

PS - It seems to be true, they really are remaking 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' - IS NOTHING SACRED!

The truth isn't out there always... sometimes it's JUST a strawberry

2008-08-06T14:53:00.005+01:00

1) What the hell is going on with 'Bonekickers'?

2) If it's half a treatment but with a little bit more dialogue than it should have, is it a 'scriptment'? Or is that just a wee bit naff?

3) Is an MFA worth the time, money and effort? You tell me. I've got my own ideas, but I'm keen to hear your opinions, negative or otherwise.

4) Anyone seen the X-Files film?

Don't look for a connection because there isn't one .... it's just a strawberry, from the garden, move along.

Scottish Book Trust

2008-07-31T18:41:00.004+01:00

The workshop day at The Scottish Book Trust was great! On what must have been one of the hottest days of the year so far, Anne Donovan read excerpts and talked about her favourite short stories, then we split into groups for some mini-workshops. There were basically 4 different ones throughout the day, and everyone could choose 2 of these. I ended up in the BBC Radio Scotland one with a producer where we discussed different sorts of radio drama and ways of writing for different shows. We then heard a short play that had been broadcast read by Gary Lewis. The cd went a bit mental and wouldn't play the end, so the lovely producer took down all our names and promised to mail us out a copy - and she did... it came this morning - now THAT is dedication.

The other workshop I did was taken by Canongate. This was less directly relative to me, but proved hugely interesting - did you know that in the majority of book-shops, the advertised 'No.1 book' or 'top book of the week' stands that are always in prime position are NOT there because they're best sellers.... (unless it says so on the display).. but just because they've paid a premium to be displayed there! I don't consider myself naive when it comes to such things but this one actually surprised me. Who'd have thought it!

Splendid selection of cakes too... no scabby little shortbreads in plastic wrappers here thank-you very much. We also had a book swap where you could bring an unwanted title and take away something more interesting.

Lasted 4 hours, and at the end, we were all given goody bags with 4 books - a couple by Anne Donovan, and some by Canongate. A lovely day - I urge you all (especially if you're in Scotland) to go along to any of the Scottish Book Trust events - it's a brilliant organisation.

Workshop and Cake.... what's not to like

2008-07-22T12:31:00.002+01:00

Interesting Edinburgh event on 26th July. Particularly interested in the Radio workshop and the cake (of course) :

Scottish Book Trust will be hosting an afternoon of events featuring the award-winning writer Anne Donovan (winner of an SAC Book Award and short-listed for the Orange Prize for her first novel, Buddha Da) and exploring the books world from a number of perspectives.

The day will feature:
Anne Donovan giving a talk on her favourite short stories
Anne Donovan workshop on the difference between writing short stories and writing novels
Cover design workshop by Canongate Books’ Art Director
A session on commissioning and dramatising stories for radio by a BBC Radio Scotland producer.
More workshops!

Readers’ Days are particularly aimed at members of reading groups, but are open to anyone who enjoys books and wants to find out more about authors, publishers, and how the literary world operates. Tickets for the day are £8 (£5 for concessions) and include tea/coffee and cake. We will be running a book swap stall, so please bring along a book (or books) that you don’t think you’ll re-read yourself, to swap on the day. Contact the box office of the Scottish Storytelling Centre on 0131 556 9579 Monday to Saturday 10.00 am - 6.00 pm.

The Red Shoes

2008-07-20T17:40:00.011+01:00

The Red Shoes was on tv yesterday - I never get tired of watching that film - sublime.

Other news : still not entirely convinced this is real yet.... maybe if I type it, it'll disappear in a puff of smoke and I will know it was only a (Red Shoes-type) dream.... I'm going to be a student for another year as I've been accepted on to an Advanced Film Practice course. It wasn't the qualification that attracted me, I'm not big on getting 'letters after my name', but the chance of a final year of support while I concentrate on and develop my writing.

I did the MA part-time, but this is going to be full-time for a year (initially 3 days a week so I'll be able to fit in some earning time too though it's going to be tight). Can't say I'm not a little nervous about the commitment, but it feels scary enough that I know it's probably a good step for me to take at this point. The easier option would've been for me to graduate with the MA but it feels like time to step up to a new challenge. If you'd have asked me a year ago where I'd be in 2009, my last answer would've been 'in education'. In fact I'd have probably laughed in your face. Yikes. Time will prove whether it's a good decision, but it's an experience I'm looking forward to.

That'll be me writing a Western then.... maybe.

Ready to Meet the World...... maybe

2008-07-09T22:23:00.007+01:00

I've been getting ready to workshop my feature comedy this Friday, and it got me thinking about that old adage about writers feeling precious about their work. Nobody likes to get told their work isn't up to scratch, but as long as the comments are constructive, I generally don't feel the burn when anyone says anything faintly negative. However.... as I was off swanning round the EIFF in June, I fell behind with my writing schedule (pleased to have done so though as it was well worth it), which has meant that what little I have for Friday is now not really ready to meet the world. SO, what to do?

I've gone the brave (for me) route which is to send it out there in all its messed-up, scatty, brainstormery 'glory' so I can take advantage of some early feedback, but geez it's painful. I HATE putting things out there until I'm at least a little happy with it, and have had time to live with it, but this time... eeeeeeeeeeeeek, gone and done it. What if the sky falls down!

What if it gets thrashed in the workshop and then I lose all confidence in it? - I'm wavering on that line anyway, as I always am before I get into the guts of a thing.

Thing is, I don't even know if I like it yet, it's too new, like a pair of shoes not yet walked in.

But it will be an interesting experience to see how or if it affects me. I generally enjoy reading people's brainstorms, or automatic writing as it gives you a real sense of energy, especially when you just know they've hooked into something inspiring regardless of spelling or grammar or convention. Some people hate it though - they need a traditional format to clarify what they're reading. If it's a commission, assignment or professional job then of course, don't be sending out your unformatted scribblings unless specifically asked for (does anyone ever ask for unformatted scribblings I wonder), but in other contexts, do you ever let your part-formed youngsters out to gamble about in the world or do you always wait until you've worked them into more conventional form and taken off their training wheels?

Ballerina Ballroom

2008-07-09T10:24:00.005+01:00

Frankly this all sounded too delicious to be true...... but it is. Links at the end of the info :

"A while ago, on an impulse, a quixotic seizure, Tilda Swinton rented a ballroom in an old Victorian stone building in Nairn in the North East of Scotland, a seaside town where Chaplin used to holiday and which has a balmy microclimate and vistas across the Moray Firth to the Black Isle, Cromarty and Sutherland.

The ballroom is called Ballerina. In the 60s and 70s Pink Floyd, The Who and Cream played there. The ballroom in nearby Elgin was called The Red Shoes.

After renting the Ballerina, Tilda emailed Mark Cousins to ask if he’d help her put on a film festival in it. As quixotic as she, he said yes. And so, together, they dreamt up a festival of beanbags on the floor, that would run 8 1/2 days, that would be a 6 out of ten on the grunge scale, that would serve home-made cakes and fish finger sandwiches, whose tickets would be £3/£2, and that would transform the Ballerina into something like a ghost train.

And the films? Tilda and Mark clicked at once on what they wanted to show: Gothic Americana, Margaret Rutherford in the morning, a touch of Sherlock, a gripping howl of rage from Senegal, a Bjork video, Norman McLaren’s dreamscapes, a cheeky wee silent Ozu, lots of Scottish mysticism, Margaret Tait, Roman P, a singing day, the most adventurous films ever for kids, something glorious from Iran. We left our two Friday nights slots open for Joel Coen to select two of his faves. Three movies a day for the 8 1/2 days, from 15th – 23rd August 2008. The last movie will be Fellini’s 8 1/2.

We are telling you all this because we would LOVE it if you would join us in Nairn for our fest of swash and buckle, of misty art direction and sinister revelation, of moonage daydreaming, of surrealism, of collisions between films, of passionate love for cinema, its wonder and plenitude. We see our wee festival as a work of the Scottish romantic imagination, in the spirit of Landseer, Powell and Pressburger's The Archers and Michael Clark! We have tried to programme imaginatively. We hope that we are playing with the boundaries between seriousness and play, adult and child, professional and grungy, local and international.

Our wee festival in what we have renamed, for the duration, The Ballerina Ballroom Cinema of Dreams, will be really welcoming, friendly, especially for kids, and inclusive. We hope that legendary John Byrne will do some design for us. People will make buns. We might cycle in the mornings, or swim, or read or drink tea. If you come, even if you are dead famous, you have to pay your three quid – unless you bring a tray of fairy cakes, that is. Nairn has quite a few b & bs and hotels – book soon! Or camp in tents, or you could stay in Inverness if there’s nae room at the inn.

Tilda hopes that this will be an annual event, a movie retreat (or, rather, as Ian Hamilton Finlay used to say “not a retreat, an advance”). Please please come and join on in the state of cinema which, as Tilda once wrote, is “a state of mind, boundary-less, without borders or policies of exclusion.”

For more info, join our Facebook group (search for ballerina ballroom), or MySpace page: www.myspace.com/ballerinaballroom
Or register your interest by emailing matthewlloyd(at)ippimail.com."

I mean Margaret Rutherford AND Powell and Pressburger.... pffft how could it not be fabulous.

Sharps

2008-07-04T13:48:00.005+01:00

Just got an email from fellow MA classmate Ronnie. As previously mentioned, he'd got through to the first stage of the BBC Writers Room 'Sharps' competition, swished off to a workshop in London and then had to draft a quick short piece for consideration. He's just found out that he's through to the final 8 - so a residential week in the Big Smoke beckons, along with a £500 bursary, mentoring from in-house development teams at the BBC, and a showcase rehearsed reading with professional actors - wtg! More info on the process once I've quizzed him.

On a related note (I'm not on commission or related to him I promise), he's currently one of the fine and varied reviewers on www.thereelshow.biz so worth a look if you fancy having a gander at a "truly International Film Student and Film School Graduate website".

Unbeautiful

2008-07-01T19:53:00.002+01:00

"The first question I ask when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful? And very shortly you discover there is no reason."

John Cage

Keep Those Wagons Rolling

2008-06-30T16:30:00.001+01:00

You know when you've done a really awkward interview and you told the panel you were writing a Western... when you're not in fact writing a Western.....

Filth and Mince

2008-06-30T16:22:00.004+01:00

So the EIFF has ended. This was my first whole film festival as a delegate (last years was a part-time affair), and I'm proud to say I made it through the entire couple of weeks without a whole day off. Frankly my brain was mince by the time it ended, but it was glorious, damp (it rained a LOT) and rather inspiring.

I'm already missing the buzz of always having something filmic available to see, but am buckling down to write the feature that the final part of the MA requires. I've sat for over an hour now staring at my screen. I want to be swanning about at the Cheltenham Screenwriters Festival but that will have to wait until next year. For now, it's comedy and a balancing act along the fine line that is bawdy rudeness whilst avoiding straying into filth. Although filth has its place.. but here's a question - how rude is too rude for a screenplay?

And I would walk 500 miles...

2008-06-25T21:10:00.009+01:00

EIFF up-date : saw Death Defying Acts, A Film With Me In It, Brian Cox Q&A, Shane Meadows Q&A, various Happy Hours (Team WA won the Delegate Pub Quiz which netted us some Marx Brothers dvds), couple of parties - one of which had an experimental slide show (very Woodstock) and a magic igloo - personally I found it hard to see what was magic about said igloo, but it was very white - favourite party had free bar all evening (but they obviously worried a LOT about the wine drinkers as there was a little sign at the bar saying 'a SMALL glass of house white wine') and have been hob-nobbing. Feeling like I've hobbed too many nobs if truth be known now, 9 days in, but still sad there's only 2 days to go (though my credit card will not be sorry).

Attended the BBC Writersroom event at the Traverse in Edinburgh yesterday - the first of their roadshows around the UK. Met Kate Rowlands - very friendly, enthusiastic and approachable. Haven't yet put anything in to them but plan to later this year - informative presentation, and Kate made herself available for chatting in the bar afterwards!

My mate and MA classmate, Ronnie has got through to Sharps - well done! He's off to London on the 30th for the next stage.

Nothing fell from the sky - not even manna or frogs - how disappointing.

EIFF update

2008-06-19T21:24:00.003+01:00

Too knackered to report much on today but you MUST go to see Terence Davies' 'Of Time and the City' - it's beautiful and poetic and I shed a tear even though the man beside me smelled of chips, threw a delegate pass at me (unintentionally), fiddled EXTENSIVELY with his mobile (with the LIGHT ON the whole time throughout the film) and then fell asleep on my shoulder. Thank you.

Tomorrow I am mostly having some lovely soup, then a writers event at 1pm, then some Horror discussion later, and a Happy Hour fiesta at the delegate centre. I will also be checking out the pigeon-holes to see if anyone has offered me anything free, and generally swishing about.

If I can, I'm also snaffling a ticket for this : 'Pageant' - With charm and endearing exuberance, Pageant follows five male contestants competing in the Miss Gay America female impersonation contest. From choosing sparkly outfits to rehearsing amazingly complex dance routines (and one strange ventriloquist’s dummy act), the film offers an intriguing insight into the lives of the participants. With no surgical enhancements below the neck permitted, these men are truly dedicated to the art of illusion.

May no-one fall asleep on your shoulder.

Pssst - nothing (except a delegate pass) has fallen on me from the sky yet... only 3 days to go until the curse is lifted.

And they're off...... EIFF

2008-06-18T20:50:00.003+01:00

Brief and to the point as I'm expending ALL energy (ok not all - some is kept aside for breathing and laughing, but just a tiny bit) on the EIFF (or Edinburgh International Film Festival to give it its full title) which started officially today.

Picked up my delegate pass (which to my delight is for a longer period than I expected hurrah and ssssh in case it's a mistake), and saw 'Edge of Love' - I swear Matthew Rhys is channeling Richard Burton, in a GOOD way. Have to return tomorrow for the full cotton BAG full of delights that has schedules and stuff (and a free pen - don't get excited, ok don't get excited, its JUST a free pen... free pen ooh!). Last year there was a free pin badge - it's free - therefore it's exciting.

Tomorrow's itinerary :

pick up free and important stuff, and obviously look professional while doing so;

have bacon and egg roll and tea - this festival jaunt constitutes my holiday this year so therefore I am entitled to the odd inappropriate snack - you wait till I'm 4 days in, if last year is anything to go by, I'll be mainlining anything with E numbers;

see films - Patti Smith : Dream of Life, Stone of Destiny, Of Time and the City, and then Scottish Screen's Happy Hour;

plan the next day, go home, do some work to pay for all the inappropriate snacks, return;

repeat.

See you there!